Thoughts on the Journey

I can't believe that Alan Rickman's dead. I've been traveling all day so only learned about it when I was on the train to NYC. He's an actor who's been in so many movies I adore and ones I don't, but he was always worth watching. Also I found out that the actor who voiced Robin Hood in Disney is dead as well from sdelmonte and that's awful, his voice was always my Robin Hood.

For the Snowflake Challenge, the prompt for the 14th actually ties into some fics that I want to rec.

Day 14

In your own space, share your love for something fannish: a trope, cliché, kink, motif, theme, format, or fandom.

I think my favorite trope, the kind that will pull me deeper into a fandom is if the characters feel messy and real. I have a weakness for characters figuring out what they can do and who they are and all the bumps along the way. I think the best example of this for me is Sameth from The Abhorsen Chronciles, his perception of himself feels real and while the situation is extraordinary, his reactions feel real. If you look at my roleplaying roster on my profile or the types of fics I tend to write, they tend to be all about someone making sense and making mistakes and finding what they can do.

Day 13
In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you did not create. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it.

Love and Marriage (3387 words) by shewhoguards
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Chronicles of Chrestomanci - Diana Wynne Jones
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Christopher Chant/Millie
Characters: Christopher Chant, Millie | Millie Chant
Additional Tags: Arguments, Happy Ending, marriage is hard, Newly weds
Summary:

Romantic it might be, but there was a limit to how much you could smile at each other, how many pet names you could find for each other and how many times people could pointedly leave you alone together before it all got a bit.. dull really. And there was a feeling as though that status had to be maintained, as though the first person to break it by speaking a cross word or even voicing a minor annoyance might be breaking something precious.

I adore Diana Wynne Jones' books because of how she writes messy people and situations. This fic with Christopher and Millie getting married and having their first fight feels like a continuation of the books. Its sweet, sad and funny,

A Noble Heart (1417 words) by Rhiannon87
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: October Daye Series - Seanan McGuire
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Dean Lorden/Quentin Sollys
Characters: Quentin Sollys, Dean Lorden
Summary:

Quentin has a confession to make. Dean has no shortage of questions. Set sometime between Chimes at Midnight and A Red-Rose Chain.

This was my Yuletide gift and I've lost count of how often I've reread it. The author captures all that I love about McGuire's writing, the great world and the people. Quentin is one of my favorite characters in the series and I RP him in Milliways as I'm fascinated by his journey. This fic fills in some missing pieces and complements the world.

Like Butter on Toast (7667 words) by SoundandColor
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Hugh Collins/Dorothy "Dot" Williams
Characters: Hugh Collins, Dorothy "Dot" Williams, Tobias Butler, Phryne Fisher, Jack Robinson
Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Season/Series 03, Light Bondage, Canon Compliant, First Time, Sharing a Bed, Rope Bondage, Yuleporn
Summary:

“If I could find someone who looked at me the way your copper looked at you,” Nell says, staring into the bottom of her glass and seeing things Dot isn’t sure she wants to know about, “I wouldn't be standing here waiting. I’d go and get him and I wouldn’t let him go.”

Or, How Dot Decides It's Time to Bring Hugh Home.

Its really hard to pick only three fics but I think this one needs more love. Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries is a show where I worry for all of them and this fic is Hugh and Dot trying to sort themselves out. I love how you can see the various found families and orbits of Dot, Hugh and everyone else. That intertwining and care that helps them find their way to happiness.

I hope other people enjoy these fics as they make me happy.

My week is off to a good start, I have plans for my interview tomorrow and am about to buy some new luggage for my trip at the end of the month. Think good thoughts for me tomorrow at 1 pm. Today's question for snowflake_challenge is one that I find interesting.

Day 5

In your own space, talk about your fannish origin story. How did you come to fandom, why did you choose your fannish name, do you have more than one secret identity?

Fandom's always been there for me even though I didn't truly understand what it was that I was connecting to until college.

As a little girl, I fell in love with Paul Creswick's Robin Hood, the N.C. Wyeth illustrations pulled me into a different world. Robin Hood is still that touchstone story for me, I get annoyed at retellings I don't like, but love talking about what works and what doesn't. At the same time and earlier, I was reading through and having read to me the Narnia books. There was a day camp I went to where a part of every day was being read to. This wonderful man named King who had a deep voice and a beard read the Narnia books, that was where I learned the love of sharing books with others. Also at this same time, I was watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, which combined with Robin Hood inspired my first works of fanfic. Will Scarlett ending up on the Enterprise and being friends with Wesley Crusher through weird magic. I used to write in the back of my school notebooks, have the notebook open, flip to the back and write stories there then turn to the notes when I needed to take them. In a box, I still have these old school notebooks and later all the journals people gave me full of words.

At the age of twelve, I went to this wonderful summer program, Longacre where another world of interacting and creating opened up to me through playing Dungeons & Dragons. My first character and still the only one I've ever played in D&D was a half-elf bard and I made up a backstory for her that my GM liked so much, she started at level 5. That GM taught me that its possible to step into a world with words and that dice and all are beside the point, he also lent me R.A. Salvatore books to show me how rich the D&D world was. I was also taking theater classes and thinking about the importance of background, how even if you don't hear the details, every character has their backstory.

By the time I started doing LARPing and entered the World of Darkness, the idea of being able to write a history for my character was natural. The World of Darkness showed me a wider way of interacting as there were rulebooks, novels, pins, all this wonderful stuff that came along with this world. Then the internet was there and I could see other fans, I once even tried RPing in the offical Star Trek chatroom like set ups.

In college, I found Harry Potter and then an amazing friend showed me how to find fanfiction and I had that moment of oh, this is home. In the midst of writing papers, I would spend time on the Sugarquill while I ran my own Changeling: the Dreaming LARP and tabletop game. In my creative writing classes, I tried to slip the fantasy of Changeling: the Dreaming into my work. It only partly worked, Fangirl perfectly captured how some teachers don't get fantasy or fanfiction.

From that same friend after college, I was told about milliways_bar and learned that I could actually roleplay my favorite fandom characters. I began with Will Scarlett and now play ten characters. Milliways brought me friends who shared where they wrote and suddenly I was sharing my own fanfiction, first on my LJ, then later on Ao3 and participating in Yuletide, Narnia Fic Exchange, Ineedmyfics and ficathons.

My user name ceitfianna was created my sophomore year of college, my partner at the time had an LJ invite code. I thought it might be a good way to keep in touch while studying abroad in Greece. Ceit is the Scots Gaelic spelling for my first name, Kate, and one of the few languages I've found where I can find my name as it is. I'm a plain Kate, where its not short for anything. Fianna is the name of a mythic tribe of warriors in Ancient Ireland and a werewolf tribe from Werewolf: the Apocalypse. I honestly don't recall exactly why I decided to combine them, but its stuck and is how I'm known on LJ, DW and Twitter.

On Archive of our Own, my name FiKate is a reference to my AIM screenname which was the name of a character from a Werewolf: The Apocalypse game that only lasted one summer; Fiona. In Milliways, a huge amount of interaction happens in a chat room and since my screenname is Fiona, I was dubbed Fi. Yet there are Milliways' people who call me Kate and when I was creating my Archive of our Own name, I thought that I would combine them.

My Tumblr name on the other hand is something different as I didn't know how much it would connect to other areas of my life. Its atthelamppost as I'm currently feeling at a crossroads while I try to figure out a way to do what I love and be paid for it. Its inspired by Narnia, which is one of my oldest fandoms and one that I'm still a bit weird about. I haven't read The Last Battle, because when I was about eleven or twelve, I decided I didn't want the series to end. I'm 33 and still haven't read even though a little while ago, my father read through the entire series for the first time. Maybe I will someday. I've also considered getting a tattoo of the lamppost as an iconic image for me.

The last name I have online is for my librarian/professional blog, that I really need to update which is called nurturingstories. This is because I consider myself a storyteller and a good teacher and librarian is all about stories. We all have our own stories and children's stories need to be nurtured to allow them to grow.

I feel accomplished. I've started the process to become a substitute teacher, sent off thank you notes and have sorted all the books in my room. The last isn't as major as it sounds since most of my books are in storage, these are just the ones I've picked up since moving here and left over from ALA. Many are going to better places as I won't reread them and I was reminded of those I do want to read. I feel like I'm getting out of the low place I got into in November when it felt like there was no chance of me finding another job. Instead it seems as if maybe there is hope out there.

Now for the December meme which isn't filled up, come and leave me things to write about here as much of the month is open.

For today quarter_to_five asked for: show/episode/book/movie/something that you just hated.

This one is really easy to answer as I recently rewatched Bull Durham, which is a movie I love and probably created my small crush on Kevin Costner as a girl. Sadly that crush took a major hit when Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves came out.

Now anyone who's followed me for a while knows that Robin Hood is one of those stories that I have a deep and abiding attachment to and ideas of how I think it should be done. When Prince of Thieves came out, I was I think twelve or thirteen and it was the first movie that I had a truly visceral, my god what have you done to the story I love reaction. I saw it with my best friend and her family, we ate dinner out in the car, cold chicken, came in and I remember staring at the witch scene. Then Robin came back from the Crusades which is something I don't get. Robin is of Nottingham and Sherwood, Richard comes back from the Crusades and Costner was awful. Then Alan Rickman camped it up, which he did well, Andie McDowell tried, she did try but had no chance. I spent most of that movie staring at the screen in horror at what had happened to my story. Actors I've liked went far down in my perception due to, Christian Slater is a good actor, he is not meant for that sort of movie. There were moments of oh, Wolf, oh Wolf, he's rather like my Will, he deserved a better movie as did Morgan Freeman's character. A generic fantasy or medieval piece would have been just fine, not Robin Hood. Its not the only medieval story to take from. When it was a movie to watch at a girl scout camp, I hid from it because of how much I disliked it. The more I think on it, the more awful moments I remember that felt tossed in for the sake of let's put it in there. It never felt coherent, I didn't care for anyone and it was an utter mess.

I did like the soundtrack because the music feels so separated from the story to me that I can enjoy. Also I played it in marching band so it attached to band practices which helps. This is rather rambling but this is truly one of the few things in the world that will make me go, no, get it away from me.

I would like this week to have a few things go right on the first try. The movers were late sending out the online confirmation but that's done. There's a email from the my student loans telling me to go look at a message from them but I don't want to. Last time I did the amount of interest made me want to cry, that will get put off a little longer.

My body keeps feeling off as in having asthma issues that I haven't had in a while. Allergies have rarely made me wheeze, its disturbing and disconcerting, I would like to not fall apart. My ear also seems to have healed, but it feels like it needs more. I also haven't been sleeping properly so I keep having points during the day where my temperature feels off and I just want to fall over and hide for a time. End of body rant and worries.

Meebo messenger's been shut off and I can't find a replacement that will let me get into chat, not even AIM Express which is messed up. I've got a five hour shift today and I'm already feelings a bit out of it, need chat and its wonderful community. So guys, I'm online but can't get into chat.

I'm going to do some meme answers, try to figure out who to do Happy Hour with tonight and maybe even write more on a fic that I should write. Perhaps tomorrow is a good day to go to the movies and hide from the world for a little bit.

Icon meme first.

1. Reply to this post with Dance with me, and I will pick five of your icons.
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.

These five icons were chosen by bjornwilde



At one point I started watching Gossip Girl, I think I finished the first season but that was it. I found this icon and I love it as it shows the best of female friendship, two friends just being together.



anthologia made this icon and it feels quite apt for where I am at the moment, looking towards the future and not knowing what's ahead. Its peaceful and beautiful.



I loved Inception and this was by far my favorite scene in it because there was a clear sense of this isn't true reality. I wish honestly that there had been more of this but loved what there was. It was harder than I expected to find an icon of this moment.



This is a scene from the movie Atonement which I'm not a fan of. Its a gorgeous movie with wonderful actors, but I hate, hate the story. If I could have removed the actual plot, I might have liked it better. Its a heartbreaking movie about how a badly thought out and rather selfish choice that destroyed lives and to me that the person who did the wrecking never really got it. The atonement that's supposed to be the payoff felt weak to me. I have a fair amount of icons from this movie for Will as James MacAvoy spends a lot of time in it looking older than his age and hurting. I use this icon for war related things and general sadness.



My mother's originally from Carmel by the Sea so I spent my childhood spending one or two weeks there and visiting my grandmother, aunt, uncle and cousin. I also grew up not far from the Atlantic ocean in Pennsylvania and my parents now live on the Delaware shore. I'm happiest when water is within walking distance for me. I loved that about Wellington, not only was the water right there but the waterfront was someplace I wanted to be. There was the public library and Te Papa and places to sit and watch the world go by. Everything for me feels a little more possible by the water. This icon is my beach, water one.

Now another round of the five topics meme.

Comment to this post saying "FIVE!" and I will pick five things I would like you to talk about. They might make sense or be totally random.

Then post that list, with your commentary, to your journal. Other people can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself, hopefully for the rest of eternity!

(I don't really care if you say "FIVE" or let me know some other way. Just for the record.)

These five are from crazyfurries

( Five more words )

Now all this writing has been feeling a little more even keeled and now to plot who will do Happy Hour in Milliways.

This isn't going to be terribly detailed but I want to copy and paste the Twitter fics I've been doing since ladyoflorien started the idea. I'm doing Twitter names as again it helps me trace what I wrote. If I write more, I'll try and add them here or if not I'll do them on another post.

Charles/Ruby for @minkhollow42
Her mind felt like it was aching to be free as her body pressed against him. In his ear, she whispered, "Follow me." "Yes."

Red Pollard/Tiwa for @thisisyourfault
He thought he knew how to fly on the back of a horse with mane and tail flying. She laughed before taking him on her wings.

All these three were for @wanderlustlover
Jane & Edward -- hearts arts
She had been told that she wrote the truths of love and nodded. He never told her such things just listened to the unsaid.

Charles & Jean -- the echo of my heart
They were both too full and full of holes; all the secrets rested with them as the world took in price their loves and hope.

Tumnus & Marian -- sometimes all you have is tea
The tea set was still cracked from the wolves. He'd always kept it and now her fingers traced a crack as he played of loss.

Dem and Gus for Amber (@afullmargin)
He was laughing, he hadn't thought you laughed in bed with a woman. She just smiled and said, no, laugh and live with me, Gus.

My character choice-ill also for Amber
William didn't have time to be ill, too much to be done. Michael didn't cluck, just got him soup and quietly took care of him.

Dixie and William for Missy (@miz_missy)
She was always kind and didn't ask too many questions. Today though she looked close to crying, so he took care of her for once.

I'm feeling productive as I've been getting some words out there. Yesterday I wrote a gift fic for thebattycakes, it's a William Evans and Bill Pardy fic and might end up being a part one. Today I also posted a poem on my librarian blog called Recipe for a Librarian.

This little meme was just posted on wanderlustlover's journal and I think it's wonderful.

Tell me about a story I haven't written.
And I'll give you between one and three sentences from that story.

Now I'm going to do two more rounds of the five words' meme, which keeps getting me writing about things dear to my heart.

From saphyria( Michigan, librarianship, James McAvoy, mythology, books )

From wanderlustlover( Robin Hood, education, travel, kindness, gaming )

I really did mean to sleep tonight but it didn't seem fated to happen. Perhaps I can reset myself by staying up today and then sleeping when I get home from work tonight. I do plan on treating myself to a proper breakfast of pancakes or French toast or waffles at I think the Broken Egg.

In the meantime, I've finally started setting up my playlists on my new computer and I'd forgotten how for some reason iTunes will reorder and separate things by various artists. Its a pain as I like having my soundtracks in order. Also I have lots of random songs that people have given me and I don't recall them all, which makes things interesting.

I'm also rereading Tam Lin as between the various moves, my lovely paperback copy went missing and I bought a new one from Amazon. The cover image isn't as beautiful as the painting but its nice. Rereading is a joy as this is one of those books that truly imprinted on me. I first read it my junior year of high school when I had a horrible English teacher who did horrible things to my creative writing. We had block classes and I had her twice that year for creative writing and English, in both of them we spent most of our time writing essays for contests as they made her look good. It took me far too long after those classes before I actually started writing fiction again as she made me not look forward to writing. The two upsides were one of my oldest friends, the guy who introduced me to LARPing and was my first boyfriend was in the class, he was willing to argue with her and cause trouble, and she had a eclectic paperback collection. I picked up Tam Lin and it clicked for me, I think its partly to blame for my love of Classics and urban fantasy. One reason it worked for me was that I grew up on a small college campus so the setting felt quite familiar to me.

Now in_the_blue started a round of the icon meme and so my answers to that will go under the cut. I love any excuse to look at everyone's beautiful icons so please comment.

Comment on this post and let me know you want to participate. I will choose six userpics from your profile and you will explain what they mean and why you are using them. Post this along with your answers in your own journal so others can play along.

( Some little images that are sometimes me )

I was going to try and finish doing the last bits of paperwork so I can get credit for my internship, but the SI site has decided not to load.

So I'll do a fun little meme from weaverandom Comment and I'll pick six interests of yours, which you then have to describe!

Here are the six she gave me and I think tonight or maybe before I go to work, I'll empty my camera so I can spend the next week posting leaf and food pictures.

Diana Wynne Jones
DWJ is one of my favorite authors, but for the longest time I had no idea how many books she'd written. I had a copy of Charmed Life that I read and reread. It wasn't until I was in New Zealand and getting involved in Milliways that I was aware of all of her other stuff, mainly thanks to bookelfe. She's a brilliant author who writes real people and her books are funny and scary and all sorts of good things.

New Zealand
New Zealand is where I realized I could support myself and felt like an adult for the first time. I lived there for three years, one year in Dunedin in the South Island and two years in Wellington in the North Island. I have a bachelor of honours from Victoria University in Classics and a couple of New Zealand places on my resume and would go back there in a second given the chance. Its a beautiful country full of kind people and I just love it. Also I need to get back to that part of the world since I haven't spent enough time in Oz and there are people to see there.

Robin Hood
I've loved Robin Hood since I was about twelve and read Paul Creswick's version with illustrations by N.C. Wyeth. I love how many variations the myth has and how in the end it all comes down to love of home and strong friendships. The best retellings always get that the Merry Men are built around loyalty to a great man and trust among the men. Will Scarlett is my favorite, because the dynamic of his friendship with Little John perfectly captures all the things I adore about the myth.

Shatterverse
Shatter is a beautifully done post Apocalyptic game run by tinylegacies and canadabear, I played in it for a little while as some great people pulled me in. In the end, it wasn't really my type of game. I tend to play pups that need a way to get back to their homes, but I enjoyed the time I did play there.

Tall Ships
I adore tall ships and the world of maritime history, there's just something about sailing that makes me so happy. I interned at a maritime museum in Philadelphia after I graduated college and loved getting lost among the logbooks and seeing the Delaware river outside my work. I love thinking about the voyages and the complex hierarchies that were created to keep things stable. Patrick O'Brian's books are so beautifully done and a reminder of how fascinating the world of ships really is. I once got to ride on a tall ship out of Lewes called the Kalmar Nyckel on a sunset cruise as a present from my parents, it was so lovely.

World Myths
I studied Classics as an undergrad and I've always been fascinated by how myths shift and change. I was trying to find a good way to capture the fact that I'm interested in stories from all over the world. Most of my favorite writers of fantasy are the ones who pay attention to the stories that are out there and look into them like Charles de Lint, Seanan Macguire and many others. Also the things that I love to study the most are connections across worlds and ideas since there are themes that keep popping up and I adore finding and thinking about them.

This is an interesting meme and it reminds me that I probably should update my interests. I also keep meaning to change my layout too, but I've yet to find the right image to construct it around.

I just came back from sitting at a Starbucks and finishing Guardian of the Dead by Karen Healey. I want to go back to New Zealand, I miss the amazing vibrant world and the waterfront of Wellington, which lead to the best public library in the world and Te Papa. Ann Arbor is a wonderful town and I love my program, I'm just having some homesickness for an amazing country that I made my home for a while. If you love a good YA fantasy novel that deals with so many multicultural issues intelligently and a main character, who's not the pretty one, go read this novel.

One reason I feel so shattered this week is that I've been fighting off something, I thought maybe I'd got through it since I was able to manage work yesterday morning and Thursday night. Instead I spent most of today inside drinking tea and I currently have a headache, but it feels like Fall again, this is good. I wore a jacket around town. Life is going to start getting really crazy as things start to come due in my various classes, but I can manage them. I think resting this week will end up being a good thing.

I also need to ramble about why I love roleplaying and also why I miss acting. I love really looking getting into another world and time. This is also why I loved studying Classics and English so much, it was a chance to use primary sources and research to figure out what living in another time was like. I'm disappointed that I didn't feel up to starting a new D&D game with the couple I'm friends with, but next week when I'm more fully here I will, yay for steampunk Ravenloft.

Its sort of interesting to think about the fact that of the characters I play in milliways_bar and mixed_muses, only one out of 9 is actually from the modern world and that's the World of Darkness. All of the others are from fantasy worlds or different eras, well variations on historical eras, because I love the cultural clashes that occur. In Milliways, you get rather major cultural contrasts just from modern characters, but I love the twist of adding another layer or two.

This is in my mind because I've been playing Will more and I've missed him, yet he's running up against characters, who really aren't thinking about just how different the medieval world is from the modern. So he finds himself in the position of trying to talk about what is just his world to someone else and not always doing that good a job, which means he gets annoyed or angry. I enjoy those moments, because hopefully Will ends up making that other character reconsider their reaction to someone they only know from a book or other source. I always feel like there should be a warning posted somewhere around Milliways; Presumption Causes Trouble.

One of the reasons I'm having fun with the modern AU Will over in Mixed Muses is that it reminds me how complicated and at times easy it can be to transpose the legends. If I end up apping William Evans, who I might since I have a possible story for him, I'll have another character from an earlier era. Now I think I'm going to make some more tea and enjoy the rest of my weekend. I'll get done all the things I need to do this weekend though I'll be flailing soon.

I meant to write this last night, but ended up creating a journal for Moist von Lipwig from Discworld, he can be found at morethanprops. I wasn't planning on any new sort of character, but I've been rereading Going Postal and then chat sort of enabled me to try him out. He's fascinating in terms of all the different angles that he's approaching everything. I probably won't apply him in April since I have too much else to do and I'm still kind of figuring him out. His tryout EP is over here.

So the good news that I've been thinking about is that yesterday I spoke with my advisor about my plans for next semester and the summer and she was really happy. She said that it seemed like I had a good plan. Also she asked me about things that I wanted to identify myself with and I kind of went on for a good bit about storytelling and the lack of information about female roleplayers. I'm going to try and put together a thoughtful post about female roleplayers because I'm at a School of Information and a lot of studies are out there about gamers but none of them are really like me. So I've been wondering just how much of the population of roleplayers who don't play World of Warcraft and video or who play them but also do other things like LJRP or form RP are being missed. And I'm in the process of applying for various internships at public libraries in the area as I move forward on projects that are coming due.

Yesterday I was in the Special Collections library handling a first edition Howard Pyle The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood and realized once again that I could probably quite happily write a long paper about Robin Hood. The paper I'm going to write is about illustrations and using the Special Collections library, but I do really love all the complexities of the Robin Hood story and how its constantly changing.