ceitfianna: (Dean time rambles on)
I think I found a good doctor and have all my prescriptions refilled. One big adulting thing that I’ve been trying to do for a while done.

Thankfully the doctor wasn't too awful about how long its been since I had a primary care doctor but quickly understood what I needed. I ended up being a little emotional about my sister which kind of smoothed things out. I always worry about a doctor making me feel bad for not getting myself taken care of, even though I've had few doctors who actually did. Since my biggest medical stuff is asthma and allergy, I've always been much better about getting to specialists than having a primary care doctor.

The only annoying part was my pharmacy didn't have one of my inhalers so I had to walk to another one to get it, but now I'm settled.

Work looks like its going to keep me busy until my week off, which in some ways is good, but its prepping stuff for summer and next year and that still feels weird.

Off weekend

Apr. 7th, 2019 03:09 pm
ceitfianna: (breaking each other)
I had high hopes for this weekend but its ended up being a little off. Yesterday I volunteered at the Boston Public Library book sale which was quieter than other times. The part that was hard was before I went to the sale, I had this moment of realizing that I can't look for books for my sister anymore. She's not around to read them and I think that pang is echoing through me. I had plans for sending things and the other volunteers even invited me out to dinner but I'd run out of social juice by the end of my volunteering. Though there was one very cool moment, in the back room where all the sale stuff lives, they have books that are sold online. One of them was a hardcover, first edition, autographed by Pratchett copy of Good Omens, it cost 250 dollars but I was able to hold it and look at it.

Today has been quiet which I've needed as I'm sore and tired. I'm hoping to write some cards to my nephews in France and maybe try and send them from the college mailbox. Today's the youngest birthday and they're both into Spiderman so I found cute Spiderman cards, because each boy needs to get something. Last week was okay, work has gone into a pretty good space other than the whole someone else will be hired hanging over me, while also doing prep work for the summer and next semester. I'm ready to have my week off at the end of the month as I think I'm much more aware of all the ways my boss and I don't work. Good news is that I'll be getting a nice refund from my taxes and it actually feels like Spring.

All my writing feels like its kind of mirroring the weather in this mix of thaw and frost again. I've written the start of something that I really like, an everyone lives AU but focused on Jyn and Cassian's daughter on Fest fighting the First Order. I want to write more for it when I can find more words for it.

Oh and I finally finished watching the Umbrella Academy, which was okay. It looked cool but I never really cared for the characters like I was expecting to. I kept thinking about Preacher which has a similar vibe in terms of stylized violence and outsized personalities, but the characters felt realer to me.
ceitfianna: (Charles+Raven-here to hold you)
Why is it so hard to find a primary care doctor and to get out of my own head? Last night, I had a hard time getting to sleep so I stayed home from work today. I tossed and turned, very much kept awake by worries and aches. Then tried the doctor finder from my healthcare as I need a doctor to help me with my asthma maintenance but the one they connected me to isn't taking new patients. And its frustrating because I should know how to do this, how to just take care of myself. When I've lived in new places and needed a doctor, I did urgent care or was lucky in terms of eye stuff or unlucky at another point. With this, there are so many doctors and I feel overwhelmed, while knowing I need a doctor I can rely on. How has anyone else managed this?

Then there's missing my sister and being in this weird place at work. They've hired me on until the end of the semester and posted the job again. I don't think I'm going to apply again especially since my boss told me they wanted me to keep working by saying, "since the search was a failure" and that means not me. Then today I saw that a librarian I work with who went to grad school with me is boosting the job on our grad school's listserv going oh yes, great job for an early career person. So again there's this sense of not being seen for what I do. And I know I'm probably overthinking it but its a strange spot to be in. I'm continually doing things to make everything run easier and probably will end up doing a good deal of prep for next year, then helping train the new person before I leave. And then I feel kind of petty because my newest office mate, another temp is getting on my nerves. Not for anything huge just being kind of negative and at times dismissive, its wearing, but as a person I like her.

A good thing is that I have the week of my sister's memorial off and I'm taking a few days off at the start of it for myself. I'm going to go to a seaside town with a nice museum and have a break before going and being with my family. Spring Break's coming up at work so the days are going to be much quieter and its actually feeling like Spring with the weather.
ceitfianna: (Dean time rambles on)
Last night I had plans to write a long post about my long and complex month of February that felt like three months in one. Now as I just found out that my work contract has been extended until the end of the semester, I'm feeling relieved and tired. I'm having a family visit this weekend which will be really nice and the sun's shining outside. Life is a lot but Spring is on its way and I'm going to get a week off in April which will do me a lot of good. I'm so grateful to everyone who's reached out in various ways to me through care packages, cards, any sort of message.

I'm going to keep thinking taking things as they come, there are words I'd like to write that will get written at some point. Now isn't the time to set deadlines on myself but writing still makes me happy so there will be words.
ceitfianna: (riding into the sun)
Last night I dreamed that the floor in my apartment was falling and then somehow flooding, it began in a corner of the bathroom and then spread. Most of the dream was spent moving various things back and forth as a handyman was there, my parents helped and somehow new architectural details of my apartment were found but it was a truly anxious dream. Also I'm sore and worn out and can't tell how much of it might be a cold from this never-ending winter and how much is grief and job worry.

Today I didn't go into work because yesterday left me so frayed due to work weirdness of getting to do something great with student workers and being reminded that, oh yes, someone else will do this job next semester, so I can help but shouldn't plan too much. Though I then end up being given some planning things because my boss is really awful at communication especially about what's happening with my job. My temp contract at this point is set to end at the end of March and I want to take April off, because at the end of the month will be my sister's memorial. And before that I want to visit with friends, have a long road trip, have an actual vacation since I really haven't had one. Yet I also want to make sure that the student workers are in good hands with someone who respects them and will help protect them from my boss' horrible lack of management and communication skills. Also if I know someone's there, then I will feel more comfortable applying for jobs and being able to say, look what I've done and what I can do. February is ending up to be a very long short month but today is a reminder to myself that if I need to take days off before I leave, its okay to, I probably need them since I've never grieved like this before.

In good news, last weekend, I went to Boskone which was just the right speed of con for how I'm feeling. I loved how the focus was really on authors and there were so many good panels though I didn't get to many of them. I ended up hearing Jane Yolen and her son talk which was fantastic, she's one of those authors that I've loved since I first started reading fantasy. And hearing her talk reminded me of how many books she's written that I haven't read but also how many different kinds of books she's written. Also I sat at a table with two authors I know of when I was charging my phone and was part of a nice conversation. The Dealers' room was my favorite kind with mainly books, interesting jewelry and stuff I normally wouldn't see. I picked up a book of Mexican short fantastic fiction, two anthologies-one I've been looking for and one I didn't even know existed that was autographed. I had a hard moment at one of the jewelry booths as they had an entire rack of earrings that looked like tiny flowers and I knew my sister would have loved them. Boskone's going to go on my list of cons to get to.

Today I hung up some art, got air in my tires and hope to maybe do some writing before ending the week with I hope a slow and easy Friday.
ceitfianna: (Charles+Raven-here to hold you)
This has been a week that feels like a month. I spent the weekend with family saying goodbye to my sister at a wonderful hospice that gave us space and quiet. On Monday I took the train back to Boston and on Tuesday was at work, which was a strange day. I had a meeting with my boss and co-worker and then later with student managers as well as catching up on some work. Being busy felt good but at the same time, I was so aware of my parents being back with Leslie. Also it was so odd that on my commute into work I passed a Massachusetts medical examiner's van, so when my parents texted me to say that the doctors said Leslie was now actively dying, I wasn't surprised. Of course she took her time and ended up dying in the evening and not the afternoon like they expected. Leslie always got to places in her own time.

Wednesday I didn't work since I knew that technically I probably could work but wouldn't truly be there. The rest of the week was strange, Thursday almost the entire day was spent trying to make something work that's been going just fine all the rest of the semester. Basically I couldn't get videos to digitize and upload like they normally do for professors. It left me so worn out at the end of the day. Then yesterday I found a solution and was quieter including everyone at work giving me a truly lovely card. I'm so grateful for all the love and care while feeling overwhelmed too. I had this plan that today I'd go to a park or a museum, something special, instead I slept in and went shopping which felt good too. Relatives in the area called and invited me over but I"m going slowly with social stuff.

One of the strange parts of saying goodbye to Leslie was all these visitors from this church she found after she started staying with my brother. Kind of New Agey, focused on healing and really great for her. They kept coming in all throughout the weekend, they brought food, two of them even played instruments and sang, but at certain points, it felt too much. Some of the too much came because of how they knew different things about our family and so at points I felt like a hostess or too many introductions and hugs from strangers, well meaning ones but strangers.

Work was a little better as I know people and there's a new temp sharing my office and she's really fun. I enjoy how she talks and her viewpoint on things, something useful to focus on. Going ahead, I'm trying my best to be gentle with myself, keep connecting and checking in with my family, my parents are planning to come up and visit at some point. Leslie's going to have two memorials; one put on my her church and then later a family one in the Spring. It really feels right to celebrate her when plants are blooming.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. I don't think I'll be up for replying to everyone but all your kind thoughts are precious to me.
ceitfianna: (riding into the sun)

My sister died tonight and this album and this song among others have been my soundtrack since she started to get a lot sicker during the holidays. I miss her already.
ceitfianna: (breaking each other)
I just booked train tickets to go down this weekend to say goodbye to my sister who tomorrow is hopefully being moved to a hospice place. Fuck cancer, we knew she was failing after the holidays and probably wouldn’t get better in the rehab place but she’s just gotten a lot worse. Now she’s in the hospital and ugh. I’m glad that I can be there to say my goodbye and to be with my parents and the rest of my family.

And its also the first week of classes at my job, its actually all going fairly well. I had a desk shift that was busy but not too chaotic. But I’m not really there, I need to be where my heart is and that’s with my family.
ceitfianna: (stormy ship)
There was a post going around Tumblr at one point about how if someone's being bothered by something that seems small, its probably because there's more going on. Today I had one of those days when the fact that I had to dig my car out since the plow that does the parking lot completely hemmed it in and I couldn't get it out, that was my point of too much. Well, no that's not true, emailing my boss and trying to explain that first I would be late and then not sure if I could get my car out and could I work from home. And her sort of sympathetic reply that basically always seems to have behind it, I think you're not doing enough hurt more. So this negative feeling plus being cold and feeling awful after being outside either in my car trying to warm up or digging it out in below 10 degree weather sat with me.

Its not until I really started to think about it that I saw just how much of this is other stuff; how sick my sister is and that I'm far away, the certainty that I'm not getting this job long term, but my boss hasn't told me yet, as well as this sense of all these other things I want to do that I haven't done. I'm so behind on my book reviews and all these things I wanted to write. Then I find myself going, well but none of this matters that much compared to other things out in the world, which I also know. Usually I can have a good long vent, do some baking or writing then I feel a little better, but so much of the hard stuff, I can't do much about.

Last night I made delicious banana bread and my kitchen is well stocked with a number of good things. I think I have to be more open with my boss about how sick my sister is, our relationship hasn't been one where I felt comfortable saying that, but I think its time. With how things are, I might end up having to go away quickly and this way she'll know. I'm going to keep doing a good job and create and do what I can, but today was a hard day.
ceitfianna: (running towards a happy ending)
Today is my day for catching up since my drive ended up one day as I spent the 2nd with my parents visiting my sister, and I said I wouldn’t be back at work until tomorrow. I’m so glad that I did that because this entire break has been long and not that much of an actual break.

My sister’s been in the hospital since the Thursday before Christmas and is still there due to various complications stemming from her cancer that they’re trying to fix. Its a good hospital and she feels safe there but it changed the feel of the holidays especially as going forward, we still don’t know exactly what to expect. Keep sending good thoughts our way as we need them.

Job stuff is okay, I'm in the final round of interviews for the job I have now but in the second tier according to my boss. I don't know how bad this actually is because the way she talks about things is always in a fairly neutral to negative way, and I don't think I'd be her first choice. Our working styles don't mesh well together and a lot of my work is spent trying to find ways to make her happy while getting things done and not having students get too much of her negativity. But since the hiring process is going long, my contract has been extended to March and now I know that this is a kind of job that I can do really well. And its one that's needed in the various universities in the area. So tomorrow I'm going to go planning for a good year.

Now for the happy stuff, I didn't end up doing a lot of writing over break due to family stuff but wrote one Yuletide story and got one.

I wrote Sit you down in gentleness, an October Daye slice of life focused on Quentin/Dean and received Over and Over (Everything Comes Back To You) a wonderful The Cutting Edge story.

Then on New Year's Eve, I finally wrote a fic for the Cassian prompt-a-thon, Not Today, a fairly angsty story about Cassian almost dying and Jyn saving him.
ceitfianna: (Charles+Raven-here to hold you)
I'm only now sitting at my laptop for the first time since I was driving down to Delaware. I didn't really have time from Sunday until Boxing Day and then I was feeling too tired to really pull my thoughts together to attempt writing or putting into words all that happened.

To start with the good, for my Yuletide, I was gifted a love Cutting Edge story called Over and Over (Everything Comes Back to You) which gives me just what I wanted. Doug and Kate being in love and figuring out how to be together. I haven't had any time to actually look at the archive. My giftee liked theirs.

The health crisis that ate Christmas )

Now I'm down at my parents' place until Wednesday after coming back on Boxing Day and starting to feel like I'm having some break. I had all these plans for writing and I"m hoping to do some but maybe not as much as I'd hoped. There are two fics, both Cassian focused that I'd really like to try posting by the New Year. Also prompts that I took on, I'll write them at some point. I have no idea if I'll manage holiday cards.

Fandom Maps

Dec. 5th, 2018 06:34 pm
ceitfianna: (stormy ship)
To start with, I can be found at Dreamwidth as ceitfianna, I’m still crossposting to LJ and most of my longer personal entries from Tumblr have been posted there as well. My photographs can be found on Instagram and Twitter where I”m also ceitfianna. On Twitter, I mainly retweet and sometimes post about books or things I”m doing, its never been a major place for me, more one that I keep an eye on. My fic can be found on Archive of our Own where I’m FiKate, which is also my Discord name. Please join me and if your username in other spots is very different, send me a note to tell me who you are.

I wanted to wait and write my thoughts on the whole Tumblr mess because other factors in my life were making me feel grumpy and negative. Today has been a good day for me; my phone interview for the perm version of the temp job I have now went really well, the sun’s been out and I found out that I don’t have to work the Friday before Christmas.

The last time I’ve seen this kind of fandom shift was when from Livejournal to Dreamwidth and later Tumblr. I remember how painful and confusing that one was for me, because I wasn’t in a stable spot in my life and all the fears of losing people came up. At that point, I was finishing off graduate school and trying to find a job, then landed in what ended up being a horrible job. In the end, the transition actually worked out okay and it taught me to keep my stuff in multiple places so I’m easy to find. One thing fandom has taught me is that once you find your people, hold onto them wherever they go.

An added benefit of this is I’ve gone back and copied and pasted all the prompt fills that I’ve written just on Tumblr. Some of them are already fics and on Ao3 or in my gdocs but not all of them. So since I was already planning on making this week and weekend all about writing, now its more so as I have some fics to clean up and post.

Back Home

Nov. 25th, 2018 07:34 pm
ceitfianna: (Dean time rambles on)
I’m home after a good Thanksgiving that involved lots of time with family, some cooking and shopping. My sister wasn’t doing great but she’s starting a new round of meds and chemo which hopefully will help and get her out of the difficult limbo we’ve all been in. I enjoyed doing a lot of reading especially on the train ride especially a fascinating book called Last Hope Island about the role of the United Kingdom and truly London during World War II.

I’m also having the rather surreal experience of going through the interview process for the job I currently have since its an open job. So I’m through the first round and will soon be having a phone interview with my current boss and the search committee.

Having a break has also reenergized some of my writing as did this book. I’m hoping in December to get some more writing done including for fun things like the Cassian prompt-a-thon and working more on my Yuletide.
ceitfianna: (Tumnus)
Thank you so much for writing for me. Yuletide is one of my favorite times of year. My favorite sorts of stories are missing moments, character studies and that feel as if they fit within the world of the canon. I love all of these fandoms because of the depth of the worlds and the characters, I enjoy action and plot if it fits. When a writer can pull off a complex plot, I love it as that's something I'm not good at writing. If you choose to include sex and violence, I ask that if they're there; no rape/dubcon or torture. All of the ones I've asked for are from worlds with difficult aspects to them and I enjoy how the characters interact with and are changed by what's around them.

Old Kingdom, October Daye, Six of Crows, Tam Lin, The Cutting Edge )
ceitfianna: (breaking each other)
This past month has been busy and wonderful as I was able to get a temp job at one of the local college libraries. Its been so good to be in a library and a community where I felt like I fit. Its an all woman's college, other librarians are great geeks and I knew they saw the good work I was doing. The project itself wasn't very well thought out on their end, they're working on accessibility but in very bulk ways, I was taking on one of those large parts. My contract ended yesterday and I left them lots of write ups and thoughts to move forward. I think they really would like to hire me for longer but their budget was only set out for this amount of time. And they need to rethink how they're approaching what they're doing. I knew it was coming, but it ended up hitting me harder than I expected.

Part of this is outside of them, Thursday was a horrible rainstorm which made my commute horrible and I stopped to go grocery shopping. By the time, I got home, I was feeling awful and I'd started the day achey and sore. Then I overslept on Friday, which wasn't too big a deal, I let them know I'd be late and took a shorter lunch. Still I felt bad as being late is one of those things for me. So to be low and then find out, that was my last day, was rough.

Today was another mix of good and bad, where I had a nice long sleep, a good phone call with my family. This is the day of my dad's 80th birthday party, which due to work wasn't able to make. Last weekend when my parents were up here, we did some birthday stuff which was nice. I sent off some packages to online friends of silly Star Wars' stuff and then treated myself to brunch at a cafe I liked.

On my way home, I was hoping to catch this roving Pokemon group as I often pass by the other way from them on Saturdays. I was and was in a raid and asked if there was a chat, one nice guy gave me an invite. So I was all excited, then it turns out that nope, not an all teams server just one and not mine. Left a quick message of sorry about not knowing and hopped out again. It sucks because I'm in the area, I've played in raids with these people but not for me.

In better than I expected news, the Narnia fic exchange has an extension which I needed but hadn't even thought of asking for. I have the bones of a good story and now can make it better. I meant to do more writing last weekend but family ended up being wonderful and tiring. I'll see how I do this weekend.

Life has been a lot.
ceitfianna: (Charles+Raven-here to hold you)
On Friday, I finished my first full week at the contract job I have until the end of August. The work is fascinating, I'm preparing course readings in pdfs to be accessible for students. I'm working in the midst of a college library on a gorgeous liberal art campus. I actually started week before last on Wednesday. While the editing isn't too hard, it does require concentration, I ended up being much more tired than I expected this weekend.

Part of that is my shark week started but I think also I'm out of practice with this pace of work. Its very like fact checking in that what I'm doing isn't complicated but I have to sit down and get into it. Figuring out lunches and dinners and getting all the pieces together so work goes as it should. Still even though I'm feeling worn out, I've been able to get some chores done. My place is a little cleaner and I'm going to do some cooking to have nice leftovers to eat later tonight. I also actually made it to the library yesterday which was nice. At some point I'll catch up on my book reviews.

Writing has slowed a good deal because work is draining but I have a solid start on my Narnia fic exchange and am happy with where a number of my longer rebelcaptain fics are at. And out of the blue, I had a phone interview with a school on Thursday that felt like it went pretty well.
ceitfianna: (breaking each other)
I recently had possibly good news, I have a job interview on Thursday for a job that would only be for a month. Its through a job agency but could be a nice opening and a way to make some money before the school year gets going again. And there’s the constant thrum of anxiety about my sister that’s always there.

But I’m having all sorts of doubts hitting me ranging from job worry to not being a good enough writer to everything. I also keep having complicated dreams about grown up TaleSpin characters which I really should try and write. That’s one of those shows of my childhood and as Disney has been putting out Disney Afternoon toys, its reminded me how much I love that world.

Things are good, I know that. This is just my summer doldrums combining with reading lots of people writing really good stuff and fretting. I think some of the writing worry is because I think I’m ready to start sharing actual major parts of the various AUs I’ve been working on. And there are some really great AU writers in the fandom so I get to overthinking how good am I. I know I’ll feel better when I can say, here’s the first chapter or here’s the first part.

I signed up for the Narnia Fic Exchange as well, I love it, its the 10th year and I love doing exchanges. And when the rebelcaptain exchanges start going later, I’m going to actually sign up as writing for exchanges is something I love doing.
ceitfianna: (running towards a happy ending)
On Monday I got back from a two week vacation with my family that was wonderful and tough all at once. I started the vacation being sick and having to finish up a fact checking job so I wasn't fully on break until a few days in. While I was there, my parents told me that my sister had been told some bad news about her cancer but no one seemed to have the specifics. We didn't get those details until yesterday when she finally had an appointment with her doctor and its not good news, but there are plans.

One of the best parts of the visit was that my brother and his oldest son who's three came from France to visit. I was partly sick while they were around, coughing and spending time curled up reading but there were some good moments. At the moment, my nephew adores Cars and the Cars' movie which I've always liked too. I took my nephew to the library for storytime and reading, helped my mom buy all sorts of fun beach toys and toys for him. And then he had so much fun with everyone and it was adorable how much my nephew loved my nieces who did puzzles with him, they're both young teens. Having so much of the family together was wonderful and complicated as my sister's so clearly sick and hanging over everything was wondering about this latest scan.

One useful thing I did while being there was I went to see the allergist I'd had before who gave me antibiotics which really helped and maintenance inhalers along with prescriptions to use up here. Before the month is out, I'm going to try and make an appointment with an allergist up here.

Then in the midst of all those family and health things, I had two different schools call me for interviews, two each that felt pretty good. On the drive back, I had one horrible moment as the skid guard on the bottom of my car decided to come apart, bumping and terrifying me. Thankfully at a rest stop, there was a garage and they took off and it was okay. On the way down, my sister had some debris pop her tire so hearing this rattle and bump made me really nervous.

I came home to a lovely pile of packages that I'd ordered on amazon with points from a hotel-lots of Star Wars' toys and only one dud, a cute t-shirt that was cut absurdly small. My Fourth of July was pretty quiet, I went downtown and walked around pretty Boston parks enjoying all the people that make up America. For the rest of the week, I have another fact checking job and all the driving gave me ideas for a few fics that I want to write.
ceitfianna: (stormy ship)
I've been meaning to properly update but never seemed to find the time or energy. May I was busy teaching and then with an intense fact-checking job. Then for my birthday weekend, my mom came up to visit for two days and we walked around my neighborhood and downtown Boston. We get along really well so it was great to have some time to shop and talk. Then I had a little pause before picking up another fact checking job that I ended up doing while heading down for a nice visit by the shore. At the moment, a lot of the family is here and more are arriving.

I finished my work on Wednesday and somewhere in May or June picked up a cough and a cold. That's made it harder to have the energy to feel relaxed and enjoy the fact I'm on break. Having time to sit and read is helping and I plan on doing baking and cooking. Also my brother from France and little nephew are coming down which will be lovely.

I'm just in a kind of odd state, last night I had a huge amount of trouble sleeping but I'm getting closer to writing up some scenes on a fic that I'm constructing from ficlets. The idea for the ending is there, now its getting the words. I'm also hoping to try and catch up on all my book reviews, I'm so behind but I like doing them.

Oh and on Wednesday and Thursday, I had two phone interviews for a school librarian job, which was unexpected and kind of nice. At the same time, I don't think they were my best interviews since on Wednesday, I was counting down the pages I had to get done and Thursday was okay but phone interviews with multiple people are always strange. The weather's being nice as its not too hot, instead its been kind of rainy so I'm planning on going out for a walk then baking.
ceitfianna: (riding into the sun)
I've been meaning to do an update but work and the weather plus allergies have been draining me of a lot of energy. In good news, thanks to the Rogue One fandom on Tumblr, I'm now in a chat with other rebelcaptain writers and its wonderful to have people to connect with on writing. And also its a nice reminder that oh yes, I can meet new people and it works. Its lovely to have people who send prompts and go I like your work, also for times of let's all write together.

Job stuff has been a mix of good and tiring where it seems like lately all my substituting jobs have left me feeling worn out and slightly doubting. There are good moments mixed in but its the end of the year and I'm usually in on odd days like half days or this week when some of the teachers are away. So kids are more likely to push and some of them, I feel like I have the same conversation every time I sub and they never listen. I know that the teachers do appreciate what I do and I'm probably doing better than I think.

Also last month one of my fact checking checks was late which was annoying but they fixed it as quickly as they could. I'm now in the midst of a big fact checking job that required negotiating more time. Its a length of book that I've done before but I really feel like when I started out, I had longer for these books. And its been a while since I did one this long, so I'm readjusting. I think it will be okay, the start is always hard until I really get going. Now I'm at that point of finding the best resources and feeling like the deadline is too close. Once I get into my day-to-day schedule for it instead of the past few days where I taught two days, had an interview with a staffing agency alongside starting out, it should go better.

One thing I really wanted to write up was how I've been getting into watching The Expanse and The Terror which has sent me to reading books. I read the first book that The Expanse is based on and then watched the first season which I missed. I liked the way the Roci crew worked better in the book as in the show, a choice was made that adds an element of harshness and cruelty to the world that doesn't fully make sense. A major part of the first book is a whole Noir story that has a mystery that connects a lot of threads but I didn't like the PoV character. He was such a stock character who gets unhealthily obsessed with the character who actually is in the prologue and one of the best pieces of writing. In the show, there's an entire episode that tells her story from her point of view but that also kind of showed up how weak the other side of the story actually was. I know that its useful for setting some things up but there was an entire point of view character that was ignored. I'd say that the first season and first book aren't the strongest of the series, I started watching in the second season and didn't feel lost. Though an odd benefit of that was it had me craving good playing with Noir tropes so I'm rereading the Vimes' books.

For The Terror, I've been reading nonfiction books, one that's very much a brief survey of the searches and then an in depth relating of an investigation of remains from the ships. That's called Frozen in Time and kind of interesting about what does it take to search out there. The other which I'm really liking is called Ice Ghosts and goes much more in depth in terms of how the searches were sent out and also deeply into the First Nations in the area, who have a personal history. At some point, I might go read the book as I do like Simmons' books but at times he can go on too long.


ceitfianna: (Default)

April 2019

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