Thoughts on the Journey

I think I need to get into the habit of writing every week as things happen and I go, I should write about that and then I don't. And I like seeing what's going on with other people's lives and also for me its helpful to go, I want to do this and writing is a way to go, should do this.

Nice big things, my parents visited last weekend and we went to the MFA and saw a fascinating Dali exhibit. I had no idea how much he was influenced by the history of art. Also we saw a beautiful small exhibit of Indigenous prints and had what felt like one floor of the museum to ourselves. The bottom of the tower where I think the Korea exhibit was and the new one is going to be Georgia O'Keoffe and someone else. Then walked through this Dress Up exhibit and one about Japan and radio, interesting to see how Art Deco and all were interpreted. Then there was some confusion as we kind of lost track of each other before getting lost in the gorgeous museum shop. I didn't buy anything but was tempted by those miniature set ups.

I'm setting up my new desk and planted an amaryllis bulb that I've had for about a year and its started growing. But I want more things, and its hard to pick which of my little things to bring to work. I might bring Yrael in his blue pot. Recently I did two little lego kits, which were so satisfying; an A-wing with Captain Rex and an X-wing. They reminded me that I have a U-wing model that I've had for years and should put that together. My desk is in a corner of the basement so I have privacy after not having it which is nice. And then when I'm on the Reference Desk, I'm right near the main entrance. Also loving setting up book displays and looking into planning programs and thinking about adding more diversity to things. Lots to learn.

I've also been thinking about decorating my apartment more now that I can actually put holes in the walls. Not the biggest fan sometimes of my super, there's a beeping from the fire alarm panel and when contacted he went, I'll talk to an electrician. And it was like okay, yes, not as bad as it could be but a consistent beeping over an entire weekend isn't good. Its quiet enough, I thought it was a truck backing up and only realized what it was when I went out and passed the panel.

Good job news, end of the day on Friday, there was a union meeting as they were working on a new contract and did great stuff. My timing for going full time actually has worked out really well as I get the benefit, which balances out some annoying things when I started.

I've also got into the Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell read through which makes me so happy. This book has been a contast for me since I left for New Zealand, which I'm now realizing was right when it came out. This is one of those books I imprinted on as faeries, historical fiction and magic just out of view. I'm on my third copy of the book, first one was left in NZ, second I think gave away after a move, not sure. Current copy I found at a used booksale and then its autographed and make me happy.

In terms of things I want to do, more decorating, sorting papers shred, figure out my dresser and sort clothing so I can buy fun things and figure out seeing shows and going to Renn Faire, just more doing things. Next weekend will be busy as I have an event but I feel hopeful.

I'm enjoying a Sunday off after a busy week where I went to New York City with my parents to see the opera La Rondine and wander around the Met and the city. The opera was fascinating as its by Puccini about a courtesan who falls in love while pretending to be someone else and then ends up going back to the man keeping her. Its both light and not so when it ends, we were all expecting someone to die but then they didn't. The music was glorious with three fourths of the main cast having their debut that night and it was the season premiere which added to the enjoyment. The soprano was amazing, a truly soaring voice and the set was full of gorgeous Art Nouveau elements.

That morning we went to the Met museum to look at the Cycladic art and the Grounded in Clay exhibit which has some of the best museum write ups that I've seen. It really was put together as the present and the past of Pueblo pottery being in conversation with each other.

The next day was basically going from bookstore to bookstore which ended up with tired feet and goodies to eat in our rooms. On the train home, I read the new Incryptid novel which was one of those that was so good and hurt.

By the time I got back to work on Friday, I was feeling happily worn out and then was met with so many boxes of books. I unpacked them for four hours and had one moment of annoyance as sort of supervisor actually went and found one book of fiction to do herself. There hasn't been much luck on the new job front.

As I'm on Sunday, I found Oliver and Company, one of the first movies I ever remember seeing in a theater on TV. And its Spring which always makes me feel hopeful.

Damn it, turns out I didn't get the job at my library, not enough programming experience and didn't even get to an interview at the other library before they hired someone else. I hate this, because I know that's my weak spot, I'm open about it in interviews, but they know how fast I learn and connect with other people. They're been working with me for around two years. I know everyone wants to hire someone who knows everything but as a librarian I hate this bit since I'm never going to learn how to do programming if I'm never hired to do it. And I know I'd be good at it too. At the wedding, I was talking with some fellow librarians about how weird this profession can be about what you've done and how that fits into what you should do. My career hasn't fit any particular idea of what I think people expect so even though I have lots of experience, I don't as easily fit into this to that.

Also for all that they say oh you're so impressive but we're not hiring you, I just hate it. It makes me not want to stay because it feels like, I'm good enough for some things but not others. I know it probably was a case of someone else came in and was great and I wasn't promised anything, I know that. Its just this was the fourth job I've applied for there and not got it combined with I was going to do some extra hours as there are holes in the schedule. And they went oh, right, you actually can't do that as we can't risk you going over the too many hours, we have to give you benefits threshold. So I'm just feeling stuck and taken for granted.

The wedding this weekend was wonderful, so many great people and conversations in lovely places. I was a little shy and anxious in the run up thinking oh I'm not enough and getting in my head, but got there and it was amazing. So many moments of oh I know you and just connecting. I was able to spend some time with my brother which was also fun and my recovery from tooth stuff is going really well.

I'm going to go take a walk, do some shopping, cook something delicious for dinner and keep looking for other opportunities.

I haven't updated in a bit since life has been busy but good. Valentine's week, my parents came to visit and we had a wonderful time including going to an auto museum in Brookline in this castlelike carriage house. And while they were here, my Dad got to work fixing a table that was broken in a move and today I did the last steps and I'm hanging more art on the walls.

The week before that I had two teeth taken out that were becoming painful and my dentist decided that there wasn't enough left of either one to try and save them with root canals. My mouth does feel better but I'm still getting used to having the empty spots to chew around.

Then after my parents left I had a busy time at work with three days of work in a row including working during a pokemon thing. That led me to actually connecting with Pokemon Go players in my new neighborhood. I actually went raiding with real people this past Wednesday night which was wonderful. I've been missing that kind of connection. Also apologies to everyone in the area who I meant to hang out with, why is it so hard to schedule time to just be with friends?

A lot of this week was about home stuff, I discovered that my gas meter is hidden behind many pipes and can't easily be changed. Then when I was headed to work yesterday morning, my car didn't start. It ended up needing a new starter, AAA was great and I found a local service place. They had some brochures for local art places and I'm thinking about looking into maybe taking some classes.

In terms of watching things, one of my favorite Youtuber groups are coming to PaxEast for a live D&D game on Saturday, so I went ahead and bought my ticket. First con in so very long, let me know if you're going to be there. I also binged the second season of Vox Machina and finally got into watching compilations of the actual games. I came to that fandom the other way around but so much goodness. And it even coincided with my D&D having a full session with a new player who kicked ass and gave us a wonderful win.

And I just saw a job opening for a part-time desk position at my work and its internal and I'm going to apply for it. Since my perfect job would be half processing and the other half desk things, so that feels good. The weather is being snowy and slushy but I'm feeling hopeful.

This has been an odd but nice holiday season so far. My parents and their friend group has become the health care coordinating team for another couple; the wife had a major stroke the week before Christmas and her husband is dealing with the onset of dementia. For all of us its bringing back hard memories of the Christmas that my sister spent in the hospital. Also I drove down early enough to avoid the worst of the storm last week, just had to deal with a good bit of traffic as I wasn't the only one thinking of moving ahead of the storm.

Thankfully my brother and his family took on the major cooking and hosting. I did some baking; a Greek yogurt cake and a gingerbread buche de Noel, which were fun and big hits.

Another bump was that my first paycheck was mailed to my apartment so I don't get to use that money until I'm home. Apparently it take them one round of set up for the direct deposit to work.

In good things, I'm enjoying having the time to finally read At the Feet of the Sun which is wonderful. Goddard is such a good writer. I'm also enjoying cooking with my new Smitten Kitchen cookbook, so far we've made endive salad and a leek and brie galette.

For Yuletide, I received two wonderful gifts.

The Proving Grounds of Coruscant which feels very like the Andor series with all its choices.

Hero is an amazing short October Daye fic that has all the feels and vibes of why I love that series.

And my fic is going over very well which feels nice. At the moment, I have some challah rising and I'm going to finish writing a fic for another small exchange that I'm in.

I had a wonderful little trip with my parents, the travel both ways sucked as those days it rained or snowed, but during the days we were there, it was sunny. Not fully warm but nice weather for walking and it was kind of cool to see the Mystic museum not fully open, shrinkwrapped ships and how they were preparing for what came next. We also were able to catch the end of an incredibly cool exhibit of this giant panorama and have lots of long talks with volunteers.

Since I've been home, the weather's been getting warmer and my allergies have returned, also while I was away, my job contract was extended until June. And the rest of March is going to be busier which should be nice after a slow February. I also came home to my Girl Scout cookie order which made me smile.

Life's been intense this past week with it all kind of hitting me when I was taking the shuttle bus for the T on my way to volunteer at the BPL booksale and there were so many people. I don't remember the last time I felt that crowded on the T and I really didn't like it. The booksale wasn't as crowded and I actually took a break to eat before which helped. I like the Friends organization but this time made me aware of some things they need help with like more tech help, the ipads they normally use were locked and no one could unlock them so no card sales. That definitely left money on the table and the core of the organization is older, I think I'm the youngest one. Maybe at some point I'll have the energy to help them more but not this weekend.

Good tiring thing was on Thursday, I saw my brother and his family for a wonderful dinner after my work. They first went to the wrong library but we met up and had pizza and ice cream and I think the most amazing part was how easy it all was. There was no sense of wow its been years since we've seen each other in person and the boys are so grown up. It was more a lovely visit that I wish was longer but it involved talking about Star Wars, a fun bonus. My parents had shown the two little boys A New Hope so they wanted to know the story and my brother and his wife needed reminders of what happened when in the whole timeline. They also really loved Rogue One which made me happy.

My shark week is hitting me in odd ways which isn't fun but I'm having some quiet days like Friday hanging out with a friend and today has been lazy. I'm still enjoying watching the Olympics, my favorite part is all the first time medalers or the first time for their country, it feels like a nice change. Also it seems like there's a lot more kindness among the athletes or maybe that its more visible since they missed each other too.

Next week, I'm working every day of the week, not all full days but even the half days are five hours, which should be good just long at points. I meant to do my laundry today but didn't have the energy though did accomplish some errands. Also there's a fic I'm thinking about expanding and revisiting. I feel like my writing is kind of there but needs a push.

I spent a lot of March and April not getting as much stuff done as I'd planned on. Now in May, I feel like finally I'm actually getting things done. Part of that is I have a deadline as I'm going to have a long family visit around the time of my birthday. That means waking my car up after it wasn't in use, sorting out various home things and the big one that I did earlier was getting my haircut. I know that I did get stuff done before since taxes were sorted and I put up a new chapter of my rebelcaptain kid fic, but it didn't feel like as much. Some of that's the weather changing but I think a lot of it is in my head too. A huge relief is that I finally have a permanent crown on a tooth that first had a root canal back in 2019 and has been in a weird limbo of needing overly complicated stuff is set.

Library jobs are seeming to slowly appear and I feel like there's more out there but I'm kind of taking my time. Contact tracing taught me a lot about what I can do as well as thinking more about all the complicated factors around work. That's something I'm still thinking about and might write more on.

I had my second shot on May 6th and didn't have much reaction, a headache, some fatigue but it also coincided with my shark week starting. So far it seems like it hasn't made anything worse just the normal amount of annoying.

Today I've enjoyed reading a really good book, A Tip for the Hangman about Kit Marlowe, which actually has inspired a new scene for my rebelcaptain kid fic. I highly recommend the book if you want spies, romance, and all the complications told in a really well done historical fiction read. I haven't been watching that much new stuff lately though I have a list of things I want to like Shadow and Bone, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, but my energy for new media is something that's slowly coming back. I'm wary about The Bad Batch since I didn't find them that interesting in the last season of Clone Wars, they seem like they belong in a different story, but I know I'll watch it at some point. Instead I’ve been watching a lot of youtube; costubers and two video game channels that a friend introduced me to that work for me, good for dipping in and out of. Outsidexbox and Outside xtra. They also do D&D and streaming playing games together, that especially suits me since I miss that hanging out energy. Also it oddly reminds me of when I was in high school, and being friends with mainly guys more into video games. So I'd watch them and every once in a while, take a turn in Smash brothers or Goldeneye.

Tomorrow I get to see my lovely relatives who I haven't seen since last Fall, and I'm doing happy birthday planning too. Another benefit of seeing family is that in June, one of my nieces is graduating high school and I can actually be there for the party, as well as see my brother around his birthday at the end of May. I'm also really looking forward to having time to read, cook, walk and be with family, there's something about being there that takes a weight off of me.

I've been having a wonderful and quiet holiday with my parents. Lots of baking, cooking and reading with a dusting of snow. I made a glorious honey cake that we're slowly eating and enjoying.

My Yuletide gift was a wonderful Toby Daye fic about the Luidaeg and Quentin that I loved, and my giftee really liked their fic, which is really all I ask for on Yuletide.

Alms for Oblivion (1254 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: October Daye Series - Seanan McGuire
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: The Luidaeg (October Daye), Quentin Sollys
Additional Tags: mentions of Toby, Light Angst, Future Fic, ish, Not completely canon compliant, as it predicts something that may not happen
Summary:

The request was "I loved the last book and had a hard time figuring out who to ask for so I think I'm going to go with the Luidaeg as her story and family is at the center of everything. I'd love her perspective and thoughts on changes, what's she's seen or even wonderful lighter moments with the new generation of Fae that's she's been leaving a mark on. Please include anyone that you'd like since she lives at the center of a lovely big world of people who care. I also really love the various teens; Quentin, Raj, Dean, Chelsea and have requested them previous years so would love to see them if they fit."

I somehow ended up writing the Luidaeg and her thoughts on being the Lady of the Lake, Quentin finding Excalibur, and what it may mean. I hope you like it, as I've not written in this fandom before, but I love the characters a whole lot!

So some parts of that finale hit me in the feels, definitely in the beginning but then it ended with a whimper and not great make-up. And a lot of the feels were basically because of stuff I went through with my sister, and the chemistry between the brothers is a big part of why I started watching. I liked the monsters and road tripping and the found family. And Supernatural will always be connected for me with the weekend that I decided to app to Milliways.

I know that Supernatural’s always been built on cliches but that ending was other than maybe the very last moment was sad and disappointing. Getting to the end without really acknowledging everything that happened is lazy and ignores a big part of the show and what people liked about it. Too much handwaving and don’t look over here involved but I did have a nice cry.