Thoughts on the Journey

As I finish up this first Monday without classes, I find myself feeling happier and a little tired. My sleep schedule is still not quite right but that can be fixed.

I recently read a book that has inspired me and combined with some wonderful conversations at work, life is feeling terribly hopeful at the moment.

The book is called A Sense of the World: How a Blind Man Became History's Greatest Traveler and its the story of how it came to be written is wonderful. The author Jason Roberts was researching another book and taking a break, he picked up a beautiful book about travelers and found something about the Blind Traveler, James Holman. He went looking for books about Holman and couldn't find any so he wrote one. This beginning made me grin as its all that I adore about browsing in a library or bookstore, you find something unexpected. I picked up this book on sale at Borders as I'm trying to read more nonfiction and it sounded fascinating.

I loved this book, as the author has a gift for calling up place and Holman's own writing is beautiful as is his story. There are discussions of the Royal Navy in the Napoleonic era, travel, the Naval Knights of Windsor, medicine, the dangerous world of publishing and travel in the 1820s and what happens when archives are given to the wrong people. Holman created an epigram that became his motto and I'm going to quote it here as its how I'd like to approach the world. On the author's website, the e-text of one of Holman's books is there and I'm going to see about finding them. An amazing thing about Holman was because he wasn't rich, he didn't do grand travels, most of his travels were done on foot or horseback or mule or sledge. I hope more people read this book as I want to talk about it with everyone.

Some difficulties meet, full many,
I find them not, nor seek for any.

( Cut for body stuff, hopeful but skippable )

In strange job things, last month before I went full into grant writing, I was getting set to print off and send my job application for the Kentucky job. For some reason my printer didn't like my resume, so even though I'd emailed all my stuff, I hadn't mailed it. I had to focus on work and was finally able to try printing it again, the resume went through on the first run. That is now sent and I can prepare for the next round of job applications. I put a note in apologizing for the delay and understanding if they don't consider me, but I wanted to make sure they got all my stuff.

At the moment I'm rereading Pamela Dean's Tam Lin and this book is such a touchstone for me. Life is good and I have lots of things to write and hopefully soon a few of them to share.

This one is far too appropriate for today as I look at my list of stuff to do and realize I'm behind. I've had some nice progress on possible summer stuff, the Classics' department is going to try and help me find something. Though if that doesn't come through, I've got two other courses that will work but might be not as interesting. Either way, I'm feeling a lot more confident about what I have to do.

Also its starting to feel like Spring and I'm getting ideas for fun things again like RP and writing to do. One nice and intense thing about Michigan is that a month from now, I'll be done with this semester. Before then I'll have to write one big term paper, help with two group projects including reports and presentations, do a one-shot workshop, do a webinar and have lots of various other things. I think I can get it all done but it really does feel like a downhill slope that I'm trying not to fall on.

Also since I'm going to be in Michigan this summer, I'm trying to think of possible visits. I would love to see people and have a couch that's good for crashing on and a car, so I plan on definite road trips.

Day One: Pride - Seven great things about yourself
Day Two: Envy - Seven things you lack and covet
Day Three: Wrath - Seven things that piss you off
Day Four: Sloth - Seven things you neglect to do
Day Five: Greed - Seven worldly material desires
Day Six: Gluttony - Seven guilty pleasures
Day Seven: Lust - Seven love secrets

( I really should be.. )

And again I can't think of a last one, I like how this meme challenges me to lay out my thinking. ETA: I just thought of one.

I just sorted through a car's worth of clothing and other random things that have been in my brother's garage for about two years and some even longer. A lot of the clothing hurt a bit to look at and realize wow I was that skinny but other things I tried on and went oh you still fit.

I found a tweed hat that I bought in Dublin which I thought I'd lost years ago which is only a little bent. Also I found my favorite summer dress that I have loved for oh so many years and it still makes me feel beautiful.

So there were lots of discoveries and a number of things that are going to be passed on so they can make someone else feel beautiful. There are a few things that I'm saving because they make me happy.

Though all that sorting means my ankle's hurting a bit more but the car is cleared out, getting everything out is done, later there will be moving the stuff that's saved upstairs but not at the moment.

This is the start of a transformation as I move forward to a place which is going to help me find ways to actually do the kind of job I love and also be also in an environment where I can get myself sorted out. I think I've been stuck for so long that it took a bit to start getting out of the mire but I'm shaking it off my feet and heading head long into the future.

I just mailed off my last transcript and actually had a vaguely healthy lunch, what I ate yesterday was rather nuts so won't do that again. I'm so ready to be in a place with young people my age where I can just do more, I hate feeling this lumpish though a good bit of that is on me but location does make a difference.

Also the weather is so odd, its grey but kind of humid and I think maybe tomorrow I'm going to drive to Rehoboth and hang out there. I really need to do something different and there are bookstores and lots of good places to wander into.

Now for the meme, this is inspired by one I saw on doihearawaltz where you list the first 25 songs your itunes picks and list them, I tried this and I got a lot of repeats so I'm just going to do ten. I think everyone knows my fandoms but the quick list is Robin Hood, Becoming Jane, Greek Myth, Supernatural, Pushing Daisies, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and many more, seriously ask and I'll probably write it for you.

Prompt Meme
1-Put your itunes on shuffle and list the first ten songs that come up.
2-Link them here with lyrics if you can find them.
3-Have people request fics based on the songs, rinse and repeat.

1-For the Fallen-Tim O'Brien
2-Li Ma Weesu (As In a Mirror)-Youssou N'Dour
3-Pale Green Things-The Mountain Goats
4-Why We Said Goodbye-Tim McGraw
5-If Not You-Jo Dee Messina
6-Nottingham Ale-Flash Girls
7-Scorn Not His Simplicity-The Dubliners
8-One of These Days-Tim McGraw
9-Come Heavy Sleep-Sting
10-Charley Patton Songs-Gomez

This is from today's Washington Post and its got me thinking so I'm going to type it out and try and write out some of the complicated thoughts going through my head at the moment.

Gemini: You have moved into a new phase of life and yet you still feel the same way as you did way back when. It's not what you do in life that needs to change; its how you think about it. Put a positive spin on your history.

Applying to Michigan feels right to me as does becoming a librarian, I can look over all the jobs I've worked and so many of the ones that stood out are connected to libraries. From Swarthmore to the Seaport Museum, I love taking information and making it accessible and available and helping people find what they want. So all of this wonderful hopeful feeling is balanced by a not good body image.

This is very much my history and way back when because I keep thinking that I've got over the way my New Zealand boyfriend made me honestly feel not beautiful because I'd put on some weight and yet it comes back. I know that moments of transition are hard points to deal with my weight since I'm in so much flux and that I can, but the hardest part is somehow that sense of myself has been shifted.

I like this idea of put a positive spin on my history and I know that I can do that, I'm just not sure of how yet. Its important to me that when I get started on my MLS program that I'm not carrying a lot of baggage along with me, new starts are good and powerful things. So I think I'm going to keep writing and thinking about this as I take care of myself so that I can look back and forward and feel positive.

I woke up feeling kind of blah and just doubting and worrying about things. I'm excited about going to Michigan and getting the starts of being nervous as I start another chapter of my life. This really is what I want, I just wish that I felt more confident about myself.

Lately I keep looking at my body and feeling discontent but I know that I'm betwixt and between and when I have my space and the resources to do various classes again, I'll feel better.

The Tiwa plot stuff is there and if everyone would tag it up, I'll then get the fight going. At the start I just want a clue of what each pup is doing, big pictures are useful that way. Then I hope that things can move at a good pace since I know everyone's got other things they're focused on.

I've started to tag up the plot so things can keep moving and I'll make it all work together and let me know if you have any preferences on how you would like things to go for your pup.

I have a pair of jeans that fit and make me look and feel nice! I know that I'm going to lose the weight but as a good friend of mine said, dress as you are and make sure you look and feel the best you can. Well I do now and its lovely though I think the sky's about to open up because its grey and windy enough that on the highway, I could feel the wind.

Life is good and I have some plot news, today/tonight I'm going to write up Tiwa's kidnapping and then put up the gathering post in MM with Liam probably tomorrow. I think I have a pretty good idea of everyone who's interested in rescue efforts but if you're still interested just tag in and talk to Liam.

Then when I have everyone gathered or at least a clear, list, I'll set up the rescue ooms and a plot chat. I'd like to try and thread like mad over the weekend so that this isn't a huge drain on anyone's time. Look forward to playing with you all and I hope life is treating you well.

I'm not feeling sick today and the house is quiet and oddly empty since my parents have gone to set up my dad's show. I drove out to the outlets and ruined by own mood by trying on some pants, I know I need to lose weight, doing that just didn't help. Also I'm working to find either a dance or a pilates or some kind of class that I can take down here to learn something and be active. What kind of classes have you guys taken and enjoyed?

Lately I've been thinking about the list of things I need to do to figure out MLS stuff, questions to ask, taking the GRE, planning trips and I have a moment of oh god, am I crazy for doing this? I don't think I am, because I know that I will be happy when I'm working towards a goal and if I'm going to school maybe I can have a campus job and part time stuff and Delaware has MLS scholarships. Part of it really is that I've been feeling kind of lonely lately in terms of who's around. My parents have their friends down here but mine are farther away.

I really should arrange a trip somewhere, because I've been craving doing something like watching a whole series or movies with a good friend. That kind of wonderful silly stuff that's fun and easy when you live close by. Just had to kind of write this out since I'm just having a rather grey feeling day.

Well that went rather well, I drove out in the rain to get a cheap Chinese lunch and found a lovely pop up book by Robert Sabuda of The Chronicles of Narnia which I'm probably going to give to my nieces. Food Lion can be quite a surprising grocery store at times in a nice way.

Also my Mom asked her physical therapists about resistance bands since she uses them and we were talking about maybe I could use them to get in shape. They gave her two for free so I'm going to go online and see what good exercises I can find.

Lots of good omens and I'm really looking forward to all the fun Holiday drabbles and stuff that are about. So if you want from me, comment on my last post or here with what would make you smile.