Thoughts on the Journey

First snow of the season and I spun out on my way home, hitting a curb and doing something to my steering. I was able to drive a bit more than pulled over. After a while on hold, got to AAA, who sent a tow, dropped by car off and got a Lyft home.

I’ve been driving in a lot of places and storms but this is the first time I was one of the ones by the side of the road. I’m glad that I don’t have to work tomorrow.

Last night I dreamed that the floor in my apartment was falling and then somehow flooding, it began in a corner of the bathroom and then spread. Most of the dream was spent moving various things back and forth as a handyman was there, my parents helped and somehow new architectural details of my apartment were found but it was a truly anxious dream. Also I'm sore and worn out and can't tell how much of it might be a cold from this never-ending winter and how much is grief and job worry.

Today I didn't go into work because yesterday left me so frayed due to work weirdness of getting to do something great with student workers and being reminded that, oh yes, someone else will do this job next semester, so I can help but shouldn't plan too much. Though I then end up being given some planning things because my boss is really awful at communication especially about what's happening with my job. My temp contract at this point is set to end at the end of March and I want to take April off, because at the end of the month will be my sister's memorial. And before that I want to visit with friends, have a long road trip, have an actual vacation since I really haven't had one. Yet I also want to make sure that the student workers are in good hands with someone who respects them and will help protect them from my boss' horrible lack of management and communication skills. Also if I know someone's there, then I will feel more comfortable applying for jobs and being able to say, look what I've done and what I can do. February is ending up to be a very long short month but today is a reminder to myself that if I need to take days off before I leave, its okay to, I probably need them since I've never grieved like this before.

In good news, last weekend, I went to Boskone which was just the right speed of con for how I'm feeling. I loved how the focus was really on authors and there were so many good panels though I didn't get to many of them. I ended up hearing Jane Yolen and her son talk which was fantastic, she's one of those authors that I've loved since I first started reading fantasy. And hearing her talk reminded me of how many books she's written that I haven't read but also how many different kinds of books she's written. Also I sat at a table with two authors I know of when I was charging my phone and was part of a nice conversation. The Dealers' room was my favorite kind with mainly books, interesting jewelry and stuff I normally wouldn't see. I picked up a book of Mexican short fantastic fiction, two anthologies-one I've been looking for and one I didn't even know existed that was autographed. I had a hard moment at one of the jewelry booths as they had an entire rack of earrings that looked like tiny flowers and I knew my sister would have loved them. Boskone's going to go on my list of cons to get to.

Today I hung up some art, got air in my tires and hope to maybe do some writing before ending the week with I hope a slow and easy Friday.