Not ready yet

Tomorrow I'm going to the memorial of a woman who was basically an adopted aunt. I have all these words I want to say about her and I don't know where to start. I keep looking back at my life and seeing her thumbprints in terms of being thoughtful, loving and teaching.

Today my mom and I made a huge amount of cookies for the reception after her memorial, a potluck because she always loved potlucks. Food made to be shared and with love matters.

She died a week ago and I don't know if I'm ready to not have her somewhere. She's been failing and hurting and she passed in her sleep, but I miss her.