I'm not fit for company today.

I'm sitting here crying and feel like I'm horrible and ungrateful because of a stupid misunderstanding. Around the holidays my parents and I talked about taking a few days maybe a night or two in NYC, I was really looking forward to it because honestly I get lonely and feel rather cut off down here.

Well today I found out when I was asking about it that actually this trip next week is just one night and my mom had forgotten the other conversation and my dad hadn't but he hadn't thought we were doing it this time. When I try to explain why this just makes me feel sad and unhappy, they both go but its expensive and we've done so much with you.

Its not that! Damn it, its not. I don't care if we stayed in a hostel, I just want time to wander and enjoy being with my parents someplace that's not here without it being for a job thing, or a family just us some place else.

Maybe I just woke up feeling ready for a good cry or something because I couldn't seem to get my point across and I'm sitting here crying and feeling like an ungrateful bitch.

So folks in NYC, if anyone has a place I can crash on Friday or Saturday night, I'll just be having Thursday night with my parents.

Icon Post

Thanks for all your good thoughts everyone, things are better both with me and parents just had a hard part of the day. So since the poll tied with Will/James McAvoy and Alizee/Tiwa and I haven't made that many icons, I'm going to post them both.

Anyone is welcome to use these icons but please comment and credit if you do since I like knowing where they're going. Be warned, they're not all perfect squares just because I'm still learning how to do this so hope you enjoy.

5 James McAvoy
1 Stock of a red headed boy
1 Illustration from Changeling the Dreaming Corebook
3 Alizee
( A Handsome Man and a Laughing Woman )

Stupid Computer

Okay, I've just been having an awesome time hanging out with family and the local baker who brought homemade duck and escargot so my mood has improved a lot. Also thinking that maybe I should head out to Michigan for library school visiting stuff and seeing people and just getting the hell out of here on my own.

So I go to my laptop to check in and the screen is almost dark. If I hold it in the right light I can just see the aim window still there but otherwise too dark. I restart a few times and no change. This is worrisome.

So my plan is later tonight to have my techie brother look at it and hopefully this is something easily fixed but I do know that my laptop is old, I got it in February 05 or 06 before starting graduate school in New Zealand. This is just a warning that sadly unless it magically fixes itself before later tonight, I'm not going to be able to do much since my mom's computer is in the room my brother and his girlfriend are staying in and it doesn't have ljlogin. Cross your fingers for me, guys that its not huge.