I'm not fit for company today.

[ceitfianna]

I'm sitting here crying and feel like I'm horrible and ungrateful because of a stupid misunderstanding. Around the holidays my parents and I talked about taking a few days maybe a night or two in NYC, I was really looking forward to it because honestly I get lonely and feel rather cut off down here.

Well today I found out when I was asking about it that actually this trip next week is just one night and my mom had forgotten the other conversation and my dad hadn't but he hadn't thought we were doing it this time. When I try to explain why this just makes me feel sad and unhappy, they both go but its expensive and we've done so much with you.

Its not that! Damn it, its not. I don't care if we stayed in a hostel, I just want time to wander and enjoy being with my parents someplace that's not here without it being for a job thing, or a family just us some place else.

Maybe I just woke up feeling ready for a good cry or something because I couldn't seem to get my point across and I'm sitting here crying and feeling like an ungrateful bitch.

So folks in NYC, if anyone has a place I can crash on Friday or Saturday night, I'll just be having Thursday night with my parents.