Thoughts on the Journey

At the moment there is a loaf of honey orange bread baking in my oven from a recipe in the New York Times' cookbook, almost all of my family presents are wrapped and I'm finally starting to accept that I have finished my first half year as a school librarian.

Today was a strange day, its one of those days that feels like it has many days in it, which is always a little odd. It began while it was still dark and lightly snowing, then the morning went by quickly in fifteen minute bursts with the students buzzing about with excitement for their secret Santas and various other stuff. The library felt wonderful and alive, then there was a holiday assembly.

What I love about this school is the assemblies are rather unplanned, anyone who wanted to perform just let the performing acts director know and then they could. There were kids playing music, doing comedy, singing and doing a forensic's skit, forensics is a type of judged performance. What was great was that middle school and high schoolers performed and everyone was clapped and cheered on. This school supports everyone, which is why I love it.

Then the school emptied because the afternoon was based around things done in homerooms. Some went out to lunch, some went to the movies, due to the weather, a lot of them watched movies and played video games and there was lots of food. I didn't interact with most of these but instead enjoyed a quiet library until at one point my supervisor went oh you haven't eaten, attach yourself to a homeroom. That didn't make sense to me just like inviting myself to the luncheon that ended up happening in the main office, I don't feel comfortable inviting myself. Its something that's been trained into me that you don't do but homerooms are how a lot of the social life of the school is built. Though whenever I've gone into a homeroom I've been very welcomed, so some of its in my head and being new. I will find my way in and some of that is going to involve talking to teachers and students to see if I can be a part of what they're doing as well as finding ways for the library to have a role in these sorts of not as structured days.

After school, my video gamers came back and were loud and rowdy and I kind of loved it. It makes me happy that even though they could just go home, they would rather be hanging out with friends in the library. Then I ventured into the blowing snow to buy dinner, which will provide food at the hotel tomorrow and fall over. Tonight there was a happy hour, a house warming and a sports event going on but I didn't have the energy for them.

Since I've been home and able to bake, talk to my parents and do some wrapping, I feel more rested. Its just been a long day and I think I reached the end of my socialness at school. This new job brings out interesting parts of me; the quiet observer who is learning the school, the extrovert who says see me and what I can do and the introvert who worries about pushing too hard. As this break progresses, I think I'm going to be able to realize more and more what I've done and can do, but for now I'm enjoying resting.

Tomorrow I set out for the east coast and will be there until the weekend of January 5th. Since my brother who lives in New Jersey is having Christmas with his wife's family, our family get together won't be until the weekend of New Year's. I'm thinking that possibly after that party, I might go catch Jersey transit and head to NYC, though only if people there have the space for me. Its been ages since I was in the City and I miss all the millimuns there. I also would love to connect with people in the Maryland area, which I wanted to do before new job whisked me away. Leave a comment or send me an email and we can plan. I've made it halfway through the year!

In terms of Yuletide, I finished mine last week and it turns out that I'm getting a Pinch Hit, which is nice. I was kind of worried when I didn't see a gift but not too much. It feels great to be hitting the road not having it hanging over me. I'm hoping that the drive will spur my brain on holiday prompts, which I'm still taking more here and hope to have them done by the New Year.

I have actually done some TwitterFics last week and this week, which I will post.
( Two FicFridays )

My bread just beeped so I'm going to go check on it and then do some packing. The bread's a little dark but smells delicious, my oven is a good one. Far better than at my last apartment so I need to remember that.

Happy solstice!

Today was a mainly good day, but since I made it home, its been not as good. I've been waiting for a package and came home early in the hopes of catching it. Nope, I found the note from UPS on the door and now I have to drive out and get it.

Then I finally changed my address with the bank but it hasn't seemed to have changed online and I would like to update the online places I pay, yet don't want to until I know the change went through. I tried to switch it on one place and it went, nope not right, if need be, I'll drive out to the bank and say, look, is this changed? Also I'm looking at some of my bills and having a little flail, I can afford these bills, but the holidays are coming and I've barely started my shopping. I will figure this out, today was just an awful moment of ah, I hate money sometimes. None of this is huge, but with my back slightly hurting, its got me a mood of don't wanna at the world.

My work day was pretty good, I had a great talk with the facilities head, who is becoming one of my main allies and someone I talk to a lot. He's been at the school for fifteen years and was able to fill in more history for me. I love learning from different people their takes on the school. It was interesting to hear him talk about how the school can be slow to change and compared it to a Mom and Pop shop. I can kind of see that, people like things how they like them and I'm seeing that with some of the gaming. There are some kids who are just like ban games and the loudest ones usually don't spend that much time in the library. The ones who do will speak up and go, look its really about five guys who are loud and distracting, we can find a compromise.

It makes me hopeful to hear other kids speaking up and saying, we don't have to go all or nothing, that's stupid. I think a compromise will be found though its going to take a lot of talking. Since how its been for most of the students for the past few years is going to change as I think some gaming when its not disruptive is okay. I want the kids to feel comfortable to hang out in the library whether that's sitting on tables and talking, playing games, napping or studying. Thankfully most of them do seem to get that, but I don't know, it worries me to hear some kids going ban them without seeming to think it through. This discussion is happening and I'm a part of it and helping them think so I think that's good. It's just complicated and tiring as well. One of the big issues and something that I think is just part of the school environment is that Middle Schoolers and High School students approach the world in very different ways, sometimes they really help each other, but other times they bump up against those differences and its hard. There's not that much space in the library or the school and there is a real community, but there are moments when I think, yeah, separating middle and high school is a good idea.

In good job news, my desk arrived though now I need the time to be able to rearrange the library and set up, which is difficult. The library is rarely fully empty and during the day that's when I grab food and after school is when kids hang out. My parents are coming to visit this weekend, so I don't know when its going to happen. A head's up that I'll be quiet over the weekend due to them arriving.

A part of my job that I love is that kids are taking books out, sometimes they don't know how to take books out and that still has some kinks but they are. I have conversations about books, find books and have those great moments of yes, this is a library. I think some of kids get surprised to realize, oh yes, Kate can help me find the books I want. Though I do have hard moments of knowing the book I want and its not there because the collection's still so small. Another thing I need time for is to label, catalog and add a lot of donated books to the collection. It will happen, but some days, its hard to see it happening. Today I was looking at the back room and feeling like I've barely made a dent as there's so much stuff there, but I then I remind myself, I had little time before school started. I arrived two weeks before school began, had orientation, welcome back stuff for all the teachers and the long weekend before the first day, I just wanted to stop. I have ideas of what I want to do and do slowly chip it away. The other librarian had so many mugs around for storing pens and other stuff, I've been emptying them out and donating them to the kitchen shared mugs. I just need to keep doing things like that and it will change. Kids are coming to me and being sent to me and asking for help as are teachers, that's more important than the physical stuff.

My Yuletide has kind of stalled on me as I've just not been in the right writing place for it. I have the ideas but its a plotty one and that's not my normal style of story, so its hard. It's also a new fandom for me, but someone in the fandom says that its working and over the break, dodger_sister read what I had and liked it. It worked for her even though she's not in the fandom, which is always a good sign. I'll get back in the right headspace at some point and get it done. I've yet to finish my Yuletide until within a day or two of the deadline. At this point, its over the minimum length and I know the shape of it.

Another reminder that I'm sending out cards, please leave your address here if its changed or I've never sent you one before. Thank you, I have a lot of addresses from last year, but there are new people following and I'd love to send you guys cards. Though they might not go out until late in the holidays, they will go out.