The Soul Under Your Skin
Oct. 22nd, 2011 09:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ceitfiannaOne day when I was walking home from work, the start of an X-Men: First Class story about what books does Charles Xavier read and return to came into my head. That was about a month ago and its finally finished.
Title: The Soul Under Your Skin
Fandoms: X-Men: First Class 2011
Characters: Charles Xavier, Erik Lensherr, mentions of Raven, Alex Summers and Sean Cassidy
Pairing: HInts of possible Charles/Erik
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The books we return to define us, this story looks into how Charles' library helps to explain how he approaches the world. Erik finds him in his library and they talk and Erik persuades him to leave his library. There's a hint of sexual tension but nothing is acted upon in this story.
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine but belong to their creators.
Many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ashen_key for betaing.
You can read here or at Archive of our Own
Since his parents’ death, Charles had built up the library in Westchester around his own studies. Many of the books had gone with him to Oxford but it had become a reflection of him in many ways. Science books sat beside works about mediation and his father’s collection of histories and maps mixed in with a few of the books of his and Raven’s childhood. One of his favorite’s was MacDonald’s The Princess and Curdy because in Curdy’s gift/curse he saw one of the first recognitions of how his mutation worked as he was able to see below the skin to the person within. Science Fiction dealt with telepathy but most of the time, they didn’t seem to understand the constant noise and he soon gave up on the genre.
The library had become his sanctuary in the mansion and that hadn’t changed with the arrival of everyone else for training. The den was where he played chess with Erik but when he wished for silence, he came in here. When Raven was in a joking mood, one of her favorite barbs was to say, “What are they teaching children these days?”
She knew it got a rise out of him because he wasn’t Professor Kirke or Professor X, as she called him, and she liked Narnia just as much as he did. He also hadn’t read those books in years. It was just that in terms of logic, he did rather agree with Kirke; many people had a rather hard time believing what’s right in front of their eyes.
Today was a bad day, no one seemed to be learning anything or even willing to push themselves. It felt like the refrains of I can’t were boring into his skull. Even Raven was quiet as he went into his library and as he shut the door, he could feel Erik’s eyes on him, but he didn’t turn. Though once he was inside, it was hard to settle. He began with an old friend, The Once and Future King, but it only made him wish for a Merlin. Next he tried one of his books about meditation but he couldn’t clear his mind, and it made him feel like a frustrated student again.
In desperation, he pulled down one of his science textbooks and found the relative rules of genetics soothing. In time, he was surrounded by a few more textbooks, the latest journals, and a notepad because people were making errors. He lost track of time and didn’t think about Sean falling or Alex blowing things up or even the looks Raven would give him sometimes, and he found order in the power of evolution.
When Erik opened the door and walked in, he didn’t even look up because he was in the midst of cross checking a citation that he couldn’t seem to find.
“Charles, I didn’t realize you missed scholarship so much.” At Erik’s smooth, smirking voice and the sharp feel of his mind, Charles looked up.
“It’s not missing it, exactly. I just wanted to find something out.”
“That’s why you’ve been in here for the last five hours and missed dinner. Raven said something about you brooding with your books. I didn’t realize she was telling the truth.”
“I haven’t been brooding, I’ve simply been here.”
Erik raised one eyebrow, he could say far too much with those eyebrows, and sat down beside Charles. Due to all the books and journals, this meant he’d ended up on the floor, “And apparently writing a letter about a mistake in a book for four hours?”
“No, only for some of the time. Am I really missed that much?”
Somehow Erik had made himself quite comfortable on the floor as Charles realized that he had an ink stain on his hand, and one of his feet was asleep. He flexed his foot and shifted position and was rewarded with one of Erik’s thin smiles as their shoulders bumped.
“Yes, I’d say you are,” Erik said. “Everyone has gone to their rooms or elsewhere to not look at each other. I decided I’d had enough of pouting teenagers and came looking for you.”
“I hadn’t locked the door.”
“No, but you made it clear you didn’t wish to be disturbed.”
Then he tapped Charles’ forehead with a look that made Charles frown for how serious it was, “I wasn’t projecting anything. I work to not do that.”
“Ah, but you’re also easy to read. And don’t have to project as you reflect us all.” As he watched Erik, he was aware of the solid strength of him and concern in his normally guarded eyes, “At times I think magnify things when you’re not balancing them.”
Charles was quiet as he thought on that and stretched his foot while he leaned against Erik, “Thank you. I try to but it’s hard to know what’s too much. I try to not go inside unless asked, because minds are swirling and malleable.”
“You don’t have to be our conscience, Charles.” Erik’s hands easily found all the tension in his shoulders and Charles felt his tension eased away.
“No, but I have to be my own, because I can see more than others and shouldn’t act upon it.”
He heard Erik make a thoughtful sound as his fingers dug into a painful knot. Charles focused on the feel of Erik’s fingers massaging him and not on anything else as this was the kind of calm he was looking for. Below it there was another tension, but he was ignoring that as this moment was restful. The silence grew as he started to fall asleep and there was another tap on his head. Charles startled awake to Erik smirking at him as he looked down, close enough that he could smelled the faint mix of sweat and spicy cologne that hovered around Erik, “I didn’t mean for you to fall asleep.”
“Then what were you planning?”
Once more Erik was quiet as Charles discovered that at least he was stretched out so not terribly uncomfortable and almost in Erik’s lap and that he didn’t truly want to move.
“To see where you hide away and bring you back.”
“You’ve been in the library before. I know I showed it to you.”
He felt Erik’s chuckle against his head and a little bit inside it, too. He’s been good with his walls but if he didn’t know better, he’d think Erik was testing him, “Yes, I’ve been in this room before but not while you’re in it this way. Now I can see what you read when you don’t want anything else in your head. Watson and Crick, T.H. White...do you consider yourself an Arthur?”
“No, but Merlin’s way of seeing the world makes sense to me.” As he said it, Charles could feel Erik tensing and looked up to meet his penetrating gaze.
“How?”
Charles never expected to have to explain his thoughts on the books he grew up in and still hid in, so he closed his eyes before answering. “People’s minds are messy. White presents a world that doesn’t fit the neat boxes of a story, where emotions are undisciplined and powerful. To deal with them, you need to be able to focus on one part and learn to stop listening to the noise.”
“Yes, to pinpoint say a cufflink perhaps.” Then Erik gently raised Charles’ right arm towards him by said cufflink and examined it thoughtfully. “Family crest or your college at Oxford?”
“Family crest and this is quite awkward.”
“Yet it proves your point.”
“Of course it does but I’d rather have my arm back.”
“Ah yes, but that wouldn’t prove my point.”
“And what is that exactly?” Charles asked and tried not to move his arm too much as Erik’s mutation was strong and he couldn’t feel Erik’s hand on his arm.
“Metal is so often an alloy and can have its complications, but it’s a simple matter of placing your will upon it. Then it listens to you. You just have to understand the various ways that minds work together and know how to find the place to focus upon.”
“Which is what I do and why as you said I try to balance everyone. It just doesn’t always work.”
“So you come in here and hide and wish for a Merlin.” There was a warmth in Erik’s voice that created some flutters in Charles’ stomach but he ignored them. This wasn’t the time to even consider any of those thoughts.
“And then I go out and try to be who’s needed.”
He felt the pressure leave his arm and Erik caught his wrist, “Yes, and it’s time to make peace over dessert and brandy. I believe it’s your move in our game.”
Sitting up, and then standing took some time, and Charles put his notes and books away for a the next time he needed space. Then Erik turned off the lights, and the door to the library closed once more as Charles went out to a game of chess and the constant search for how to live as a mutant.
Title: The Soul Under Your Skin
Fandoms: X-Men: First Class 2011
Characters: Charles Xavier, Erik Lensherr, mentions of Raven, Alex Summers and Sean Cassidy
Pairing: HInts of possible Charles/Erik
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The books we return to define us, this story looks into how Charles' library helps to explain how he approaches the world. Erik finds him in his library and they talk and Erik persuades him to leave his library. There's a hint of sexual tension but nothing is acted upon in this story.
Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine but belong to their creators.
Many thanks to
ashen_key for betaing.You can read here or at Archive of our Own
Since his parents’ death, Charles had built up the library in Westchester around his own studies. Many of the books had gone with him to Oxford but it had become a reflection of him in many ways. Science books sat beside works about mediation and his father’s collection of histories and maps mixed in with a few of the books of his and Raven’s childhood. One of his favorite’s was MacDonald’s The Princess and Curdy because in Curdy’s gift/curse he saw one of the first recognitions of how his mutation worked as he was able to see below the skin to the person within. Science Fiction dealt with telepathy but most of the time, they didn’t seem to understand the constant noise and he soon gave up on the genre.
The library had become his sanctuary in the mansion and that hadn’t changed with the arrival of everyone else for training. The den was where he played chess with Erik but when he wished for silence, he came in here. When Raven was in a joking mood, one of her favorite barbs was to say, “What are they teaching children these days?”
She knew it got a rise out of him because he wasn’t Professor Kirke or Professor X, as she called him, and she liked Narnia just as much as he did. He also hadn’t read those books in years. It was just that in terms of logic, he did rather agree with Kirke; many people had a rather hard time believing what’s right in front of their eyes.
Today was a bad day, no one seemed to be learning anything or even willing to push themselves. It felt like the refrains of I can’t were boring into his skull. Even Raven was quiet as he went into his library and as he shut the door, he could feel Erik’s eyes on him, but he didn’t turn. Though once he was inside, it was hard to settle. He began with an old friend, The Once and Future King, but it only made him wish for a Merlin. Next he tried one of his books about meditation but he couldn’t clear his mind, and it made him feel like a frustrated student again.
In desperation, he pulled down one of his science textbooks and found the relative rules of genetics soothing. In time, he was surrounded by a few more textbooks, the latest journals, and a notepad because people were making errors. He lost track of time and didn’t think about Sean falling or Alex blowing things up or even the looks Raven would give him sometimes, and he found order in the power of evolution.
When Erik opened the door and walked in, he didn’t even look up because he was in the midst of cross checking a citation that he couldn’t seem to find.
“Charles, I didn’t realize you missed scholarship so much.” At Erik’s smooth, smirking voice and the sharp feel of his mind, Charles looked up.
“It’s not missing it, exactly. I just wanted to find something out.”
“That’s why you’ve been in here for the last five hours and missed dinner. Raven said something about you brooding with your books. I didn’t realize she was telling the truth.”
“I haven’t been brooding, I’ve simply been here.”
Erik raised one eyebrow, he could say far too much with those eyebrows, and sat down beside Charles. Due to all the books and journals, this meant he’d ended up on the floor, “And apparently writing a letter about a mistake in a book for four hours?”
“No, only for some of the time. Am I really missed that much?”
Somehow Erik had made himself quite comfortable on the floor as Charles realized that he had an ink stain on his hand, and one of his feet was asleep. He flexed his foot and shifted position and was rewarded with one of Erik’s thin smiles as their shoulders bumped.
“Yes, I’d say you are,” Erik said. “Everyone has gone to their rooms or elsewhere to not look at each other. I decided I’d had enough of pouting teenagers and came looking for you.”
“I hadn’t locked the door.”
“No, but you made it clear you didn’t wish to be disturbed.”
Then he tapped Charles’ forehead with a look that made Charles frown for how serious it was, “I wasn’t projecting anything. I work to not do that.”
“Ah, but you’re also easy to read. And don’t have to project as you reflect us all.” As he watched Erik, he was aware of the solid strength of him and concern in his normally guarded eyes, “At times I think magnify things when you’re not balancing them.”
Charles was quiet as he thought on that and stretched his foot while he leaned against Erik, “Thank you. I try to but it’s hard to know what’s too much. I try to not go inside unless asked, because minds are swirling and malleable.”
“You don’t have to be our conscience, Charles.” Erik’s hands easily found all the tension in his shoulders and Charles felt his tension eased away.
“No, but I have to be my own, because I can see more than others and shouldn’t act upon it.”
He heard Erik make a thoughtful sound as his fingers dug into a painful knot. Charles focused on the feel of Erik’s fingers massaging him and not on anything else as this was the kind of calm he was looking for. Below it there was another tension, but he was ignoring that as this moment was restful. The silence grew as he started to fall asleep and there was another tap on his head. Charles startled awake to Erik smirking at him as he looked down, close enough that he could smelled the faint mix of sweat and spicy cologne that hovered around Erik, “I didn’t mean for you to fall asleep.”
“Then what were you planning?”
Once more Erik was quiet as Charles discovered that at least he was stretched out so not terribly uncomfortable and almost in Erik’s lap and that he didn’t truly want to move.
“To see where you hide away and bring you back.”
“You’ve been in the library before. I know I showed it to you.”
He felt Erik’s chuckle against his head and a little bit inside it, too. He’s been good with his walls but if he didn’t know better, he’d think Erik was testing him, “Yes, I’ve been in this room before but not while you’re in it this way. Now I can see what you read when you don’t want anything else in your head. Watson and Crick, T.H. White...do you consider yourself an Arthur?”
“No, but Merlin’s way of seeing the world makes sense to me.” As he said it, Charles could feel Erik tensing and looked up to meet his penetrating gaze.
“How?”
Charles never expected to have to explain his thoughts on the books he grew up in and still hid in, so he closed his eyes before answering. “People’s minds are messy. White presents a world that doesn’t fit the neat boxes of a story, where emotions are undisciplined and powerful. To deal with them, you need to be able to focus on one part and learn to stop listening to the noise.”
“Yes, to pinpoint say a cufflink perhaps.” Then Erik gently raised Charles’ right arm towards him by said cufflink and examined it thoughtfully. “Family crest or your college at Oxford?”
“Family crest and this is quite awkward.”
“Yet it proves your point.”
“Of course it does but I’d rather have my arm back.”
“Ah yes, but that wouldn’t prove my point.”
“And what is that exactly?” Charles asked and tried not to move his arm too much as Erik’s mutation was strong and he couldn’t feel Erik’s hand on his arm.
“Metal is so often an alloy and can have its complications, but it’s a simple matter of placing your will upon it. Then it listens to you. You just have to understand the various ways that minds work together and know how to find the place to focus upon.”
“Which is what I do and why as you said I try to balance everyone. It just doesn’t always work.”
“So you come in here and hide and wish for a Merlin.” There was a warmth in Erik’s voice that created some flutters in Charles’ stomach but he ignored them. This wasn’t the time to even consider any of those thoughts.
“And then I go out and try to be who’s needed.”
He felt the pressure leave his arm and Erik caught his wrist, “Yes, and it’s time to make peace over dessert and brandy. I believe it’s your move in our game.”
Sitting up, and then standing took some time, and Charles put his notes and books away for a the next time he needed space. Then Erik turned off the lights, and the door to the library closed once more as Charles went out to a game of chess and the constant search for how to live as a mutant.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 07:04 pm (UTC)I so need to see this movie.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 10:21 pm (UTC)It's over here on Archive of our Own along with some other things I've written.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 10:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 10:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 10:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 10:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-27 01:59 am (UTC)One of his favorite’s was MacDonald’s The Princess and Curdy because in Curdy’s gift/curse he saw one of the first recognitions of how his mutation worked as he was able to see below the skin to the person within.
It was just that in terms of logic, he did rather agree with Kirke; many people had a rather hard time believing what’s right in front of their eyes.
This is my favorite line. You did such a good job capturing Erik's tone, his voice - and this line had so many meanings and layers to it.
“To see where you hide away and bring you back.”
I'll say it again - you capture the way these two converse so remarkably well.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-27 02:01 am (UTC)The book part came together first and then the rest clicked in around it. I love writing these two and I'm so glad that their voices ring true.