A little breakdown

My host, who has been wonderful told me tonight that she'd like me to leave and I made a reservation with an extended stay hotel after breaking down crying. I'm having a bit of hindsight because honestly trying to find a place to live, while starting a new job is hard and takes time. Extended stay was probably what I should have done in the first place but she offered and it has been nice, weird but nice. I'm going to head out tomorrow, which will mean that I will have a proper space of my own, which will be amazing. I think I've been craving that. Also the hotel is actually within walking distance of the school, which will make a lot of things a lot easier. I still haven't heard from the realtor about the place I wanted and moving as I go look just feels right. Its just I had a bad moment of crying as she said I want you out by Wednesday. I understand her feeling, she didn't expect a guest for this long, but well, I've tried to leave a very small footprint. And at this point, its a week over a month. Tonight I'll do some packing, I haven't unpacked that much, so pretty easy and haul my stuff into my car tomorrow. Who knows, I might be out of here by lunchtime as I keep waking up early even when I want to sleep in.

I just feel kind of worn out even though things are going well, because there's always something and for all the good, there are points of feeling that I can't find my feet. Even to just be in a hotel that's more neutral and won't go away won't make me feel as pressed to find a place. As my mom reminded me, usually when a place hires you and relocates you, they give you more time to get settled. I was rushed over and haven't had that much time to catch my breath and its been getting to me. I know I haven't been sleeping or eating as well I really should be and I can feel it.

Though there is a lot of good, today just felt like all of it came together in a rush. I had another meeting of the RP club and was reminded how teenage boys all like being the hero, but I was able to manage their character ideas into ones where everyone has more of a chance. A teacher sent a student down for my help, which was good but warning would have been nicer. This is the same Spanish teacher who suddenly appeared with a class, I'm glad she trusts me but would prefer warning. And then next week I'm going to be teaching classes for a science teacher and I feel like my ideas are coming together. My plans to connect with the IT guys kind of fell through, which is annoying. I'd really like their help in terms of working out the state of computers and various tech at the school as its done rather piecemeal.

I wrote some FicFriday stories and am still taking them but I think I'll post them later when I'm not feeling quite so shaky.