Out of Joint

The past few days, I've just been feeling lonely and kind of out of place and as if the walls are kind of too small. Last night helped a little bit since Slumdog Millionaire was really good but it disagreed with my dad so he walked out about forty five minutes in and my mom went with him even though she was liking it. Though to clarify, he could see it was well made and all just the honesty about the poverty and brutality, he said battered him and he went in expecting more hopefulness.

Today is their movie club which should be interesting, its a nice group of people and I watched Raise the Red Lantern with them and my mom's making her mac and cheese, but at the moment I kind of feel like I just want to hide.

I think some of this is anxiety about starting up job stuff and rattling connections which I know I can do but I'm still all in knots. The past two or three nights I've had really bad dreams where I woke up feeling sore and unhappy and just wanted to kind of hide in bed.

This is one of those times where I hate that Lewes feels so far away from everything because what I'd love is to just get on a train or bus and go to New York and be with friends. Hopefully once I start sending out stuff and calling people, I'll feel better but I may tomorrow drive to Rehoboth or something and just walk around.

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I'm feeling a bit more hopeful, the people at the dinner party are interesting which I knew but also I've found a few more people to give my resume to.

I'll be back online in a bit but just wanted to let everyone know that I'm doing better.