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Some Good, some bad
Jun. 18th, 2006 06:34 pmI've finished the revision on my first chapter for my research essay and had a fun roleplaying session last night. Now I've got this bothersome connundrum, I would like to go and see a movie with a person, not as a date or anything. Just enjoy a movie with a fellow human being and discuss it afterwards. I saw the last X-Men movie on my own and I"m going to watch the Serenity screening in Sydney on my own since I"m not going with anyone. And this can be nice, I enjoy my solitude sometimes, but I've been having a lot of it lately with writing and trying to get everything done. Though there have been some lovely bright spots, watching a dvd with Sunny, boardgames at Wargame Supplies and Claremont last night, but tis tough. Since I'm looking forward to travelling on my own and enjoy it, but I've just been craving seeing a movie with someone else. At least I have plans for tonight now, which is nice, off to have a pint with Sunny around 10 or so. The night's still early so maybe I'll just go see a movie on my own, but I hate this sense of not knowing if the reason I'm seeing this alone is because I ask the wrong questions too often or am just highly unlucky.
Oh my, this turned into a bit of a rant, I wasn't planning on that. I think just all the writing and work of been doing has been piling up on me and now that I'm at an almost break point, I just want to be around people. At RMWC it was easy, you walk down the hall or call someone and watch a movie someone's got or even go out though with our dvd and video collections that wasn't always needed. I miss knowing all the ways that a social group works and being able to know, this is a good person to ask to do this and this person doesn't like being asked too often. I like this group and I want to understand better, but I think I just would like to stop working so much to spend time with people.
It was weird, my supervisor asked me why I hadn't finished this revision earlier and I had the reason I told him, two papers and trying to make sure they were good and then the added reason I didn't mention: trying to make friends. I've lived abroad before, but one hurdle for me is that being at Victoria at times is so different than RMWC and the structure for easily getting in touch with people isn't quite there. So I'm learning a new way of doing this and combining it with intense work, in Dunedin I met Rowan early on and had a good, solid friend. Here I have good friends in Sunny and Rowan, nice roommates and nice folks in the gaming club, but I just don't know how to do what I used to at Randy-Mac, when I'd IM Danii or Kit and they'd say come over, need to get you out of your work and watch this anime with me. Or Sarah Kate or Katie questioning me about what's happening in the Larp or the Sarahs asking about the tabletop. I know this is all part of leaving home and school and being on your own, just hitting me a little bit hard tonight since I know I'm in a good place and everything. I just miss running Changeling games and watching Buffy with friends or the new anime someone found or Reign of Fire on my too dark tv.
I don't think I've had the homesickness hit me this hard in a while, probably a day spent walking through museums and eating lunch on my own might not of helped. Wellington makes me happy and I saw a true arch rainbow arching over Mount Victoria, which was quite amazing. I guess tonight, I just miss my friends and realized that I may not be as good as I would like at making real connections. Oh well, I'll head back into town and maybe watch Cars or the X-Men movie again, tommorow have a call home and do some research on Anacreontea and Pindar. Grab a drink with Sunny and keep working at being connected.
Oh my, this turned into a bit of a rant, I wasn't planning on that. I think just all the writing and work of been doing has been piling up on me and now that I'm at an almost break point, I just want to be around people. At RMWC it was easy, you walk down the hall or call someone and watch a movie someone's got or even go out though with our dvd and video collections that wasn't always needed. I miss knowing all the ways that a social group works and being able to know, this is a good person to ask to do this and this person doesn't like being asked too often. I like this group and I want to understand better, but I think I just would like to stop working so much to spend time with people.
It was weird, my supervisor asked me why I hadn't finished this revision earlier and I had the reason I told him, two papers and trying to make sure they were good and then the added reason I didn't mention: trying to make friends. I've lived abroad before, but one hurdle for me is that being at Victoria at times is so different than RMWC and the structure for easily getting in touch with people isn't quite there. So I'm learning a new way of doing this and combining it with intense work, in Dunedin I met Rowan early on and had a good, solid friend. Here I have good friends in Sunny and Rowan, nice roommates and nice folks in the gaming club, but I just don't know how to do what I used to at Randy-Mac, when I'd IM Danii or Kit and they'd say come over, need to get you out of your work and watch this anime with me. Or Sarah Kate or Katie questioning me about what's happening in the Larp or the Sarahs asking about the tabletop. I know this is all part of leaving home and school and being on your own, just hitting me a little bit hard tonight since I know I'm in a good place and everything. I just miss running Changeling games and watching Buffy with friends or the new anime someone found or Reign of Fire on my too dark tv.
I don't think I've had the homesickness hit me this hard in a while, probably a day spent walking through museums and eating lunch on my own might not of helped. Wellington makes me happy and I saw a true arch rainbow arching over Mount Victoria, which was quite amazing. I guess tonight, I just miss my friends and realized that I may not be as good as I would like at making real connections. Oh well, I'll head back into town and maybe watch Cars or the X-Men movie again, tommorow have a call home and do some research on Anacreontea and Pindar. Grab a drink with Sunny and keep working at being connected.
