Weight of the air

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your core meditation this week is Oscar Wilde's
belief that disobedience is a primal virtue. Be ingeniously, pragmatically,
and cheerfully disobedient, Gemini! Harness your disobedience so that it
generates outbreaks of creative transformation that improve your life. For
inspiration, read this passage by Robert Anton Wilson: "Every fact of
science was once damned. Every invention was considered impossible.
Every discovery was a nervous shock to some orthodoxy. Every artistic
innovation was denounced as fraud and folly. The entire web of culture
and progress, everything on earth that is man-made and not given to us
by nature, is the concrete manifestation of someone's refusal to bow to
Authority. We would be no more than the first apelike hominids if it were
not for the rebellious, the recalcitrant, and the intransigent."

Well, Uncle Rob, I have no idea what to make of that. Today I feel the weight of summer and waiting to hear about the last job sitting on me alongside my body being sore and awful. I have all these ideas and worries swirling around in my head from working on XMFC plot stuff in Milliways and not wanting to be too bossy, but also going I want all the threads and overthinking to worrying about the last librarian blog post I wrote and was it too honest. I don't feel how to be terribly disobedient at the moment, but its something to think on. Maybe its a reminder to stop worrying so much about spending my tax refund and instead go, if I see something I should do it just like that. It might also be that I'm feeling a little sharp at the moment, mainly due to the waiting but its okay to say, this is what I need now.

Yesterday at the cookout, I was talking about the characters I roleplay and how I tend to play fixers who forget to look after themselves, mainly because this is the kind of person I am. Perhaps I'll take my coming birthday as an excuse to indulge and take care of myself first.

My birthday's coming up in under two weeks now and dodger_sister has offered to take me out to dinner or a movie, probably Snow White and the Huntsman, which sounds wonderful. Yesterday I hung out with her and various friends for a cookout and talking about family, fandom and playing the six degrees game with actors, which is hard. It was a really lovely day and life is overall good, today I just feel a little tired.