Complicated Day

Life has been hard and complicated for me lately and today I really talked about the hardest stuff with my parents. One of my exes really undermined my confidence a lot and I'm really fighting to regain it. That's why job things and such that a few years ago wouldn't have been so hard are.

I know I can do this and find a job I'll love but at the same time, I'm fighting an inner voice of self doubt that's cruel. This isn't going to be solved easily but I think major things I can do are just keep moving forward, I applied for more jobs today, tomorrow I'm getting my ears pierced.

Also I'm rethinking going to DragonCon because cons are something I adore and I really, really miss being able to see and hang out with like minded people.

That's one reason I want to move to Philly, so I'll be closer to a lot of you amazing people on my friend's list. In the meantime, I'm going to do my best to visit and have visitors.

Its short and warning for implied sex. A final thing because its been stewing in my mind for a while and I finally wrote it, here for homicidalfink is

( Will/Merlin )

Really Long Day

Well today was a day of firsts for me. I got my ears pierced and it was quick and they look really nice.

Also I drove to Rehoboth on my own and walked around and had a fantastic time. I bought a contector cord so I can play my ipod in my car, Young Guns II for five dollars, an Elizabeth Bear book about Faerie and some thank you cards.

I already got a call back from Pendle Hill now just to play a bit of phone tag and hopefully I'll get an interview. I got my first traffic citation too at this rather strange intersection place coming in Lewes.

Corners of my car and another scraped with only some paint shifted and the guy in the car was wonderful, he works for Hazards, the good car body shop my parents used. He was so nice and said if he hadn't been driving the judge's car that he just fixed up we wouldn't have had to call the police, but the power of judge's car compelled.

So a kind of annoying state trooper all but accused me of speeding and gave me a citation for failing to yield and a stern lecture even though the other guy was being nice. Oh well just part of being a driver and for my first traffic thing not too bad.

Though its weird, I think the state trooper looked at me and saw young, new, possibly out of town female driver and so talked down to me, its been a long time since anything like that happened, think it shook me more than the accident itself. The older guy from Hazards was just really nice and kept doing that Southern thing of kind of shrugging and going, if it wasn't the judge's car.

Also I'm drinking a fantastic herbal ice tea my mom made so life is busy but kind of good.

ETA God today was long so here's what I forgot but I had chocolate and blueberry pancakes at a place called Robin Hood.

Oh and the judge called and gave me a lecture, its annoying to know what I've done and then be spoken to with the implied pat on the head.

Also, call from the Pendle Hill was weird so of, well you're in the final six but may not be in final three for an interview.