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Wandering Thoughts
Feb. 10th, 2008 05:25 pmThe Chinese New Year festival was wonderful and I've signed up for a full day Lord of the Rings tour of Wellington tomorrow, but that's not really why I'm writing this.
Tonight there was another meeting where they told us that the police has formally charged an American student for setting the fires and I happened to see Phil.
Phil was my flatmate last year and someone I connected with so much, we'd stay up late talking about books, movies whatever. He made me smile and feel lovely and interesting after breaking up with Rowan. Before I left New Zealand last year and knowing I'd be coming back, I wrote him an email saying I liked him.
Looking back this was rather cowardly but the truth is, I treasured our friendship and was so afraid of him just cutting off that friendship that I wrote an email. I never really got a proper response from him and when I left Wellington it was awkward.
Later from home, I wrote him emails and tried to make sure there'd be a friendship when I returned, that didn't happen. We've passed each other in Wellington and lately here too and it still hurts and we haven't had a serious, long coversation since that week I left.
Its because of him, my laptop is full of tv shows and comics and I like him and I don't know what to do. How can someone who was such a good friend and then basically utter silence for an entire year still get me?
I wish I was braver around him, because he makes me smile and think in different ways and feel good. I just had to write this out after seeing him since all these thoughts and feelings have been stuck in my head really since when I left November of the year before last.
Tonight there was another meeting where they told us that the police has formally charged an American student for setting the fires and I happened to see Phil.
Phil was my flatmate last year and someone I connected with so much, we'd stay up late talking about books, movies whatever. He made me smile and feel lovely and interesting after breaking up with Rowan. Before I left New Zealand last year and knowing I'd be coming back, I wrote him an email saying I liked him.
Looking back this was rather cowardly but the truth is, I treasured our friendship and was so afraid of him just cutting off that friendship that I wrote an email. I never really got a proper response from him and when I left Wellington it was awkward.
Later from home, I wrote him emails and tried to make sure there'd be a friendship when I returned, that didn't happen. We've passed each other in Wellington and lately here too and it still hurts and we haven't had a serious, long coversation since that week I left.
Its because of him, my laptop is full of tv shows and comics and I like him and I don't know what to do. How can someone who was such a good friend and then basically utter silence for an entire year still get me?
I wish I was braver around him, because he makes me smile and think in different ways and feel good. I just had to write this out after seeing him since all these thoughts and feelings have been stuck in my head really since when I left November of the year before last.
