A hell of a jolt

Well, I'm staying home today just because I felt awful and so I decided to call BUNAC to check what was going on since the last I heard was a letter saying I needed to send the money in a different form which I did. I found out today that when I sent in my application they had already used up all their visas and I was on the wait list. The letter with my returned check to did say to keep your place in the waitlist, but that was kind of vague. And the person helping me said well the next year of visas starts in mid september and there might be cancellations but you might not know for months, but we still have spots open for Australia that I can easily sign you up for. So I don't know what to do, wait for something that might not happen or grab Australia so I know for sure I'll have a visa. But the crazy thing is I thought I could only apply six months before I wanted to leave so I sent it in the beginning of march and they had none left. I mean its great that New Zealand's so popular but this just feels so weird and hard and I just don't know what's going to happen next. Also Geoff's not doing good and so I wish I was there to hug him and help him through his transistion. I just feel really like I was punched in the stomach. And apparently they sent me an email that I never got either explaining about being on the waitlist.