All Hallow's Eve

I'm feeling pensive tonight. Its odd that I've never really thought quite this much about Halloween and Samhain as this year. I think part of it has to do with the fact that its a time of changes and I'm in a time of transition and I don't know what comes next. So that makes the darker nights and days a little scarier, because I don't have the solidness of knowing that I'm a college student or I'm a graduate student. I'm just trying to figure out who I am. Though I do have a fascinating internship and hopefully a good part time job, at the moment my life plan is try and try until something fits which is exciting and scary. Then at the turning of the seasons memories of ancestors and others fills the time. My parents have created a family altar with the old pictures and on Saturday, the day of the dead, we laid out offerings and I found myself crying and slightly falling apart. Then yesterday was my niece's first birthday party too full of joy and happiness and lots of cake. Then today was the wake of an incredible man, a close friend of our neighbor, a retired classics professor and I hope I can be like her at that age. She's strong and sure. She and her sister have lived on our street for a long time and traveled the world especially Ireland and the Mediterrean both strong and vibrant and intelligent. And this woman has lost within maybe a year both her sister and this man John an incredible friend. So tonight was his wake with drink and food and it was just meaningful. So as the seasons are turning I prepare to start a part time job and continue at my internship and prepare for next September where God willing I may spend a year working in New Zealand. I miss RMWC and the Dell and how incredible it can be to know your friends are so close that you can just walk over and say hi. I miss the people I love the most because I'm at point where I don't need to do a lot with them other then just be with them. And as winter approaches and I struggle to figure out who I may be and I'll not hurry a bit, sometimes I wish they were closer since whether in Athens or Lynchburg or Swarthmore they have kept me strong. Please know that even though I forget to be in contact you're never out of my thoughts. Okay I'll stop now, I just was feeling pensive tonight as Samhain, The Day of the Dead and All Soul's Day pass. Be well and fear not the darkness for home, friends and hope will keep you warm.