My horoscope as of today's Washington Post feels very apt: Others might be trying to make your life easier, even though you may not realize it. It seems as if complication after complication continues to be tossed in your path. You might want to be unavailable for a while.

This is one of those horoscopes that I just go, yes, you're true at as I finished my fact-checking job today, have a holiday party for library volunteering tomorrow, an interview next week and still have to start my Yuletide. A lot of this is wonderful, good and a little scary but it feels like a lot. Though I did kind of step out for a little bit by going to the first part of the local shops holiday open house tonight and finding some presents. It was lovely to walk on my own, terribly cold but that made me miss Michigan. I had some wonderful, unexpected conversations and a nice moment before I came home.

There are posts and reviews I want to write but I'm moving past all of those onto today's December Meme. I still have a number of spots open for prompts and talking points on DW and LJ.

Today's topic is from dodger_sister: favorite childhood books?

I love this question and I've been pondering it for a good part of the day as I try to figure out where do I define childhood's ending. I think for me the answer is the end of elementary school, that's when books started to go into another realm.

Chronicles of Narnia: Narnia is a huge part of my childhood. I can remember reading Dawn Treader in Canada when my parents capsized their canoe at my great-uncle's cabin and watching the PBS Narnia movies. They're a bit wobbly but I love those movies a lot. I don't remember when I decided to hold off on reading The Last Battle because I didn't want the series to end, but I still haven't. Narnia is one of the reasons I love fantasy as I do. To try and explain it all is hard but so much comes from how the heart of it is kindness and listening.

Prydain: I had all the Prydain books by Lloyd Alexander but my favorite was always the book of short stories of various myths. The one of the bard who had to speak the truth got me, because that's the kind of teacher, storyteller, person I want to be. Truth is hard but important.

The Dark is Rising: I first picked up a Dark is Rising book at my best friend's house during a sleepover, I'd finished the book I'd brought and needed another. I started reading and borrowed it and then found the next book and now own all of them. To me these books are winter and the holidays and the strange cold and quiet of winter.

Pickles the Firehouse Cat: This book recently came into my thoughts as I was browsing the NYPL store and found this whole collection of books by the author and illustrator Esther Averill and went oh, I know you. I texted my mom, because she must know them and after some research realized that I knew and loved this book. My uncle for a lot of years was a fireman so this book meant connected to him and cats.

Wee Gillis, this is another book that I read and read and it made me happy. I have Scottish ancestry on both sides and someone must have gifted me this book, but I don't remember where it came from only that I loved it. I loved how he played and how he cared.

Honestly I could keep naming books for ages as I still have a box/shelf of them, they're the books that changed me and these are only the first ones.

Today was a good day, I realized just how much of a difference I've made as the kids are taking out more books, listen to me and just connecting. It takes time to get the trust and respect of kids and I'll leave with it and knowing I can get it. I want to hold onto that.

In productive news, I finally did a post on my librarian blog about gaming, its Searching for Balance: gaming in the library.

Also my horoscope from Uncle Rob is just what I need to read. I will not expend my energy on those who don't see me. Instead I will stretch my job net wide, step out of my comfort zone and find a place where I'll be happy.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "I need not sell my soul to buy bliss," says a
character in Charlotte Bronte's 19th-century novel *Jane Eyre.* "I have an
inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous
delights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford to
give." This would be a great speech for you to memorize and periodically
recite in the next two weeks. Do it in front of your mirror at least once a
day to remind yourself of how amazingly resourceful you are. It will also
help you resist the temptation to seek gifts from people who can't or
won't give them to you.

Tonight I'm going to have Demeter bartend at milliways_bar in honor of Felix Gaeta and the fact that I don't have to wake up terribly early tomorrow. I'm taking my car in for maintenance at 9:30 and then conferences don't even start until 2 pm, then at noon on Thursday.

I actually will have time to sleep and eat and read since I started My Life in France by Julia Child yesterday and love it. I want to be more like her, she was brave and daring with such a joy in how she lived her life.

I've decided to really embrace my latest horoscope from Uncle Rob:

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The coming week will be an excellent time to
wash dishes, clean bathrooms, scrub floors, vacuum carpets, wash
windows, do laundry, and clean the refrigerator. The more drudge work
you do, the better you'll feel. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, you now
have astrological license to minimize your participation in boring tasks like
the ones I named. It's high time for you to seek out the most interesting
work and play possible.

I adore that phrase play possible and plan on trying to connect with people and write just be me for the break. My body's been feeling worn out and unhealthy of late, so there are going to be walks, because Spring is here, no matter the temperature.

Also since dodger_sister was curious about it and I'm proud of what I have, here's a snippet of my queer_fest story.

( A good moment )

Today I went shopping in the outlets with my mother which is one of my favorite things to do when visiting. Now I've been needing a few things lately like a new watch and coat but haven't had the best of luck finding them. On this trip and especially at Orvis, I completely lucked out and everything is just a touch more professional than other things I've found and there were some fun things as well. At the moment I only have a picture of the watch over here. I'll link images that I can find online. There are cute balletflat type slippers to wear around the house in gray mix, my old Lands End slippers are still going but these are prettier and can be worn around other people more. The jacket is slightly quilted in a heathery grey and feels elegant, then I found these adorable gloves in the red plaid that fit my rather small hands perfectly and all of this stuff was hugely on sale. I do love the outlets. We also went to a kitchen store and I picked up a whisk and little spatula in pretty red colors and some nice sweaters at Eddie Bauer. It was a great trip especially as I went hey, I don't need my parents to buy me clothes anymore, I can afford them though it is still nice when they get me things.

Uncle Rob of Free Will Astrology came out with his beginning of the year horoscopes today and what he gave me perfectly captures what I want to accomplish. I want to be braver and trust that I can do what I'm trying to do. Also that not everything will be greeted by people going oh yes, that works, sometimes only a few people will acknowledge it but that's not a reason to stop. I need to remember this for my job and as I keep putting more of my writing and myself out into the world.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): "People wish to learn to swim and at the same
time to keep one foot on the ground," said French novelist Marcel Proust.
An attitude like that is always a barrier to growth, of course, but in 2013
it would be especially ill-advised for you Geminis. In order to win full
possession of the many blessings that will be offering themselves to you,
you will have to give up your solid footing and dive into the depths over
and over again. That may sometimes be a bit nerve-racking. But it should
also generate the most fun you've had in years.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I don't have a big problem with your tendency
to contradict yourself. I'm rarely among the consistency freaks who would
prefer you to stick with just one of your many selves instead of
hopscotching among all nine. In fact, I find your multi-level multiplicity
interesting and often alluring. I take it as a sign that you are in alignment
with the fundamentally paradoxical nature of life. Having said all that,
however, I want to alert you to an opportunity that the universe is
currently offering you, which is to feel unified, steady, and stable. Does
that sound even vaguely enticing? Why not try it out for a few weeks?
Halloween costume suggestion: an assemblage or collage of several of
your different personas.

Yes, please, Uncle Rob, next week, I get my apartment and I'm in the process of getting a desk for work.

Today also I felt like I just fit within the library in a lot of little ways. Students asked for my help with computers, how to do things as did staff and faculty, it was a nice feeling. I had my picture taken for the yearbook in a posed casual shot as well with the school's Hephaestion who fixes everything. The students who asked were oh you're support staff, which made me blink at first because I usually associate that with admins but then they well you support us in the library. It was a surprising compliment and I talked fanfic with a group of students who said that I was the best librarian. Also I got to add a box of new books to the collection as the person before me set up a subscription with a service that sends books. It's a little odd to get books and not know what they are but pretty much they've been ones I know good stuff about. This horoscope also works because as a librarian I have a lot of roles and today I happened to fill in a lot of them. I helped with reference questions, computer problems, kids being kids, planning for overall school planning and roleplaying advice.

My professional development day yesterday was wonderful as I spent my time crafting what do I want to be teaching. Yes, I don't have any courses to teach yet but I was able to talk about them and make sure the library was part of the curriculum discussion. And lots of fun conversations with other people like the new government teacher who wants to go to New Zealand. It was something I needed, yesterday and today, a solid reminder that in a fairly short time, I have become a part of this community.

I'm still searching for the decoration stuff I want as I find myself being kind of oddly picky, but I'll figure it out and then lots of pictures. My to do list hasn't really shrunk as I'm pretty tired at the end of the day, but today I got my absentee ballot and will be sending it off tomorrow. Life is full and complicated but it won't be long before I'm putting together my apartment. This weekend was just a little low point for me, thank you to everyone who read and talked with me about it.

I have today off and seem to have really needed it as I'm currently not feeling that healthy. I woke up with my back hurting and my body feels a little wobbly. A lot of this seems to be coming from the stress I've been under and I'm still waiting to hear if I got the place I want to rent, which sucks. Being in-between and waiting is one of my least favorite feelings ever especially as the weather's starting to get colder and all my winter weather stuff is in storage.

( Job and tech thoughts )

Another good thing that happened yesterday was I was able to sit and watch a marathon of SyFy's Face Off and my host didn't change the channel, so I could type and watch TV. It was so nice and reminded me just how much I want my own space again. Oh and at work I ended up getting fed by people. I think people have started noticing how I don't really grab lunch, because my host brought me leftover pizza and someone else gave me a bagel. I do try to bring snacks, but I haven't been able to get into a place of properly making my lunch and someone even said, you need to eat or else you'll get sick. And the college counselor told me that a lot of the kids really like me, I think what I said on Monday about I think the kids see what I'm doing more than the administrators and teachers is true. I'm pretty okay with that, there are teachers who talk to me about projects as other teachers see what I've done for them, then they'll want me to help. In terms of creating a library culture, having the kids truly understanding is going to be more powerful since they'll talk about what I'm doing and make it real.

At the moment, I'm sitting at one of my favorite cafes drinking mint tea after having chicken noodle soup and just enjoying having a day when I don't have to be on. I'll head back later in the afternoon and start my laundry before probably trying to sleep slightly early.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): There's a good chance that your rhythm in the
coming days will resemble a gentle, continuous orgasm. It won't be
stupendously ecstatic, mind you. I'm not predicting massive eruptions of
honeyed bliss that keep blowing your mind. Rather, the experience will be
more like a persistent flow of warm contentment. You'll be constantly
tuning in to a secret sweetness that thrills you subliminally. Again and
again you will slip into a delicious feeling that everything is unfolding
exactly as it should be. Warning! There are two factors that could possibly
undermine this blessing: 1. if you scare it away with blasts of cynicism; 2.
if you get greedy and try to force it to become bigger and stronger. So
please don't do those things!

Uncle Rob, this does feel kind of true to me, because I'm starting to figure out what works for me at this job. One of the things I love about being a librarian is that my day is full of variety and when it works, I do get a real thrill from it. Students applauded me yesterday and I still get a kind of silly smile on my face when I think of it.

I realized that I almost forgot yuletide, which I really shouldn't do. My three nominations were for The Seven Realms books by Cinda Williams Chima, Tommy and Tuppence by Agatha Christie and the Magids series by Diana Wynne Jones. All of them were approved, which was a nice feeling.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Let's turn our attention to the word "mortar." I
propose that we use it to point out three influences you could benefit
from calling on. Here are the definitions of "mortar": 1. a kind of cannon;
2. the plaster employed for binding bricks together; 3. a bowl where
healing herbs are ground into powder. Now please meditate, Gemini, on
anything you could do that might: 1. deflect your adversaries; 2. cement
new unions; 3. make a container -- in other words, create a specific time
and place -- where you will work on a cure for your suffering.

This feels apt for me at the moment as I'm trying to make sense of where I go from where I came and where I'm going. Mortar and building are strong ways of moving ahead, while keeping myself solid and sure. I don't know what the shape of that will be, but I'll figure it out.

The moving stuff yesterday worked out. I plan on doing a longer picture post of my boxes at the stages of their journey. One thing I did yesterday was upload many pictures from my camera, the earliest were from this spring. Those will be shared in posts as I have the energy for them. Also my car needs to get its oil changed, not a big deal but something to be done.

My list has changed in good ways as I discovered that I don't have to pay comcast any money, I know where my stuff is and I can start being more serious in my volunteer stuff at the local library. Yet other things are there, my ineedmyfics story is going slowly and I need to find a time to just write it for a couple of hours.

Also while roleplaying is full of wonderful stuff, there are also various things that just aren't as fun. I've been doing so many things for moving that have left me tired that I think now stuff is more settled, I'll find my groove again, at the moment though I'm around just quiet. There are some great OOMs and threads and ideas happening, but I've also learned for myself that I need to play to have fun. That's the entire idea. So that's why I'm not in chat as much or doing as many EPs, I'm trying to do what fills my days happily. This is rather rambly but I want everyone to know that I'm reading and hope to do more in games, but if I seem quiet or tired or jumpy, its not you, just lots of life for me. Another edit as listening and talking has made this issue seem less of an issue. Milliways has good people in it and I'm lucky to have them all in my life. Thank you all for being so generous to me.

One other good thing I forgot is connected to RP and creativity. Yesterday after all the stuff shifting, and a nice lunch with my parents, I wandered into a wonderful newish used bookstore in Lewes. There I found for 10 dollars, a 1958 edition of The Once and Future King, this is one of my favorite books, I love his incredibly human take on Arthur and his story.

Also this edition looks quite a lot like the one used in X2 and is according to Marvel, one of Charles' favorite books. I've been wanting to reread it and my paperback copy is in a box somewhere. I love those odd moments when fandom and normal life intersect.

Work is quiet and nicely air conditioned. Last night I slept wonderfully and wanted to sleep more but had work. The walk to campus was awful as its so hot that the air feels like its sitting on you. Last night I didn't make it home until about 12:30 but I did return to power, which was fantastic. Since yesterday was so long, I want to write it all down and on my way home I'm buying beer or ice cream. I'm in the mood for cold goodies.

6:30 am to 3:30 pm-cafe hopping in Ann Arbor. I went from Starbucks to Sweetwaters to Crazy Wisdom Tea Room

4 pm-get home and get ready to drive to work, which I did. Arrive in downtown and get more iced tea.

5 pm to 10 pm-on campus, at the end of my shift I had about four questions including someone who wanted me to find them a person's phone number. I kept explaining over the phone, the library is about to close and finally got through to them. Also one guy asking me if we could hold books and if not, could I go down and ask circ to hold them as I could sweet talk them. I don't think I ever fully answered him as I was sort of stuck going wait, what?

10 to 11:30 drive to park-n-ride, which was actually easy to find and then wait and wait for the Megabus.

11:30 pm to midnight-pick up artist for Kids Read Comics and try to get her to the place she's staying which is out in a close but surprisingly rural area. That drive involved navigating roadwork, going too far, one scare of wait, did I turn against a red light on a major intersection? I actually think I was fine on the intersection, it just seemed like I wasn't. It was one of those branching ones with like five roads coming in at once. Neither of us had slept a lot, she due to traveling, me due to power outage and I kept wanting to go, honestly I'm not this bad a driver normally. And I wasn't awful, I was just going through parts of Ann Arbor I wasn't terribly familiar with in the dark. Then out into the countryside around Ann Arbor, finally found the place then I thought I knew a quicker way home, I didn't, so had one turnaround before figuring out oh that road leads back to my place.

12:30-finally home, went online to check in with people and then fell over to sleep.

Since I've been working all afternoon, I won't get a chance to get to Kids Read Comics until tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'll be doing but I know that picking up the webcomic artist was a good thing to have done. Yes, it was a lot on the top of an incredibly long day but I did something helpful. Depending on how I'm doing, I might not actually volunteer for that long but it'll be fun to look in and see what's going on, it seems like a fun even.

I feel like my horoscope from Free Will Astrology this week about you have to grind through and do all the right steps feels true. This has been a week of getting through and getting things done, which I've done.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Do you remember what you were doing
between July 2000 and June 2001? Think back. Did anything happen
then that felt like a wild jumpstart, or a series of epiphanies, or a
benevolent form of shock therapy? Were you forcibly dislodged from a rut
by an adversary who eventually became an ally? Did you wake up from a
sleepy trance you didn't even know you had been in? I'm guessing that at
least some of those experiences will be returning in the coming months,
but on a higher octave this time.

Yes, quite a lot of things happened during those months as the summer of 2000 was the one right after my first year at Randolph-Macon Woman's College and what I think of as my summer of hell. I ended up breaking up horribly with my high school boyfriend who then cut me off from a lot of friends and I worked on finding my way. Later I ended up with a fantastic partner and I had a great school year and spent time figuring out how to get myself to Athens in 2002. The world was hugely in flux, but I came out of it with some new scars but stronger and happier.

I'm taking hope from this as I just found out from my job agency that the job in Rhode Island was filled. I had a sinking feeling it probably was considering that I hadn't heard from them, but I still wish that I'd heard more than here's a check to reimburse you. Now I go back to the cover letter grind and go and write another blog post since I'm worried my current one isn't the best first impression.

My birthday celebrations keep happening as last night, I got two gift cards from one of my brothers. One for Zingerman's and one for iTunes, then did a wonderful sync watch with wanderlustlover, ladyoflorien and dynastessa of Shakespeare in Love and that movie is really such happiness for me.

I'm slowly getting all my errands taken care of as the new mirror's been ordered for my car and the price doesn't look to be too bad. The last steri strips are nearing ready to fall off my ear lobe, so I need to go and have another doc look at it to tell me if I need to keep it bandaged or not. My back hurts and I need to figure out getting a massage which got sidetracked by other ideas.

This is just a little dip, but I know that there is the right job out there for me. The three I interviewed for showed me that its a matter of everything connecting and it will happen. When August comes around, all the signs that say time to go out of Michigan will be answered.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your core meditation this week is Oscar Wilde's
belief that disobedience is a primal virtue. Be ingeniously, pragmatically,
and cheerfully disobedient, Gemini! Harness your disobedience so that it
generates outbreaks of creative transformation that improve your life. For
inspiration, read this passage by Robert Anton Wilson: "Every fact of
science was once damned. Every invention was considered impossible.
Every discovery was a nervous shock to some orthodoxy. Every artistic
innovation was denounced as fraud and folly. The entire web of culture
and progress, everything on earth that is man-made and not given to us
by nature, is the concrete manifestation of someone's refusal to bow to
Authority. We would be no more than the first apelike hominids if it were
not for the rebellious, the recalcitrant, and the intransigent."

Well, Uncle Rob, I have no idea what to make of that. Today I feel the weight of summer and waiting to hear about the last job sitting on me alongside my body being sore and awful. I have all these ideas and worries swirling around in my head from working on XMFC plot stuff in Milliways and not wanting to be too bossy, but also going I want all the threads and overthinking to worrying about the last librarian blog post I wrote and was it too honest. I don't feel how to be terribly disobedient at the moment, but its something to think on. Maybe its a reminder to stop worrying so much about spending my tax refund and instead go, if I see something I should do it just like that. It might also be that I'm feeling a little sharp at the moment, mainly due to the waiting but its okay to say, this is what I need now.

Yesterday at the cookout, I was talking about the characters I roleplay and how I tend to play fixers who forget to look after themselves, mainly because this is the kind of person I am. Perhaps I'll take my coming birthday as an excuse to indulge and take care of myself first.

My birthday's coming up in under two weeks now and dodger_sister has offered to take me out to dinner or a movie, probably Snow White and the Huntsman, which sounds wonderful. Yesterday I hung out with her and various friends for a cookout and talking about family, fandom and playing the six degrees game with actors, which is hard. It was a really lovely day and life is overall good, today I just feel a little tired.