ceitfianna: (a writer's life)
Life has been busy for me, but good other than some bad dreams. One was strange but almost nice. I dreamed about being with a group of people who were traveling with Alan Cumming, first to a party at his wonderful and complicated apartment and then to I think Jamaica. That part wasn't as nice as suddenly we were meant to be swimming with the sharks. I woke myself up then and then last night I had a dream about being at a school and a general bad day.

I've seen this meme going around and love the idea of it. After this I'm going to go and ask other people about their fics. I'm also in the midst of finally watching Leverage's final season. I love this show.

Comment with the title of one of my fics and a number (or more than one of either) and I'll witter egomanically about:

1) how I came up with the idea
2) something I deleted
3) my favorite bit
4) something I struggled to write
5) what the writing process was like
6) how I thought people would respond
7) how people actually responded
8) something I wish I’d done differently
9) something I think I did right

My works are over here and I'm also open to questions about fics connected to RP or even OOMs.

Alternately, or in addition: tell me about a book you read recently, and I'll tell you about a book I read!

I love this bit too as I love knowing what everyone's reading.
ceitfianna: (Charles/Erik-remake the world)
Yesterday was fun, I spent the morning helping kids make shaking noisemakers out of plastic eggs, spoons and lots of duct tape then the evening cooking black-eyed peas and watching Reign. That show works for me, I think part of it is the music and the acting, also I treat it like history fanfiction. There were some moments when I looked at the outfits and situations and went, really, but its fun and pretty.

Last night, I slept for so long, it was wonderful. I woke up after having a great dream too that I'm going to hold onto. I dreamed that I was with my parents at a museum or some big city and there was this woman that had a stall selling all sorts of things. We got to talking with here and we each found various things then my parents went on ahead. I stood with her a while and we shared a glass of bourbon. Since I've been up, I've been thinking about that dream and how she wasn't in one slot, but she was happy. The way I end up moving forward might not be with one full time job, I might end up with a number of options that I enjoy.

For Yuletide, I wrote:

The Outlaw Wade or A Young Lawyer's Journey (1177 words) by FiKate
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Ben Wade, Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags: dime novel, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, stagecoach robbery, in world fiction

This story was written for DesertScribe who was interested in Ben Wade and gave me many ideas to work with. I ended up wondering about that dime novel of William's and how Ben is perceived through that lens. As Ben rides the train towards Yuma, he reads a dime novel written about himself before he finds an opportunity to escape.

My recipient DesertScribe was easy to write for as they gave me lots and lots of ideas and I only had to pick one. I decided to focus on Ben directly after canon and then I had this thought about dime novels and trying something a little meta. I'm happy with how it turned out and they enjoyed it.

Along with my wonderful Carmilla fic, I also got a great Yuletide Treat called A Promise set post canon of Scorpio Races, a short and potent fic.

I've been reading through reveals and I loved so many of your fics. May this New Year be full of joy for everyone!
ceitfianna: (running towards a happy ending)
The world has been rainy and strange these past two days as I get ready to head off to an interview. Yesterday, I dreamed of the interview and last night I dreamed of Charles and Erik arranging an art auction to raise money for mutants. They were both nice but strange dreams. I'm taking care of all my bits and pieces before heading out for this trip and trying not to get sick. Tea is helping a good deal as does the fact that nothing is too far away.

In a sure sign of how I'm nervous, I've written fic thanks to a great ficathon that Ashie recommended.

A multi fandom women comment ficathon (#3)
(click on the picture)

A burst (183 words) by FiKate
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Iron Man (Movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Characters: Pepper Potts, Tony Stark, Aldrich Killian
Additional Tags: Domestic Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Iron Man 3, Prompt Fic

Written from the prompt: iron man, pepper potts(/iron man), i am an avenging goddess at Mortals shall bow; a multifandom comment ficathon.

Near the end of Iron Man 3, Pepper thinks on the violence in and around her, reference to past domestic violence and canon violence.

Promise you the Moon (588 words) by FiKate
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Gilmore Girls
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano
Characters: Rory Gilmore, Jess Mariano
Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Past Relationship(s), Kissing, Prompt Fic, Journalism, Travel

Written for the prompt: gg, jess/rory, she said i had a dirty mouth, but she kissed me like she meant it at the Mortals shall bow; a multifandom women comment ficathon.

As Rory travels with the Obama press, she thinks of past kisses and reconnects with Jess in Philadelphia.

Now for more tea as I try and get my thoughts in order.
ceitfianna: (Charles/Erik-remake the world)
My mind was a rather strange place last night as I dreamed that I was not Batman and not exactly Bryce Wayne but someone in between. I was investigating something at a girl's boarding school that reminded me of the main castle in Prague. As in there was the entire little city in this small space, it was a claustrophobic sort of dream. Also at some point in the dream, I turned into a student who was lost and couldn't figure anything out.

I'm pretty sure I know why I had such a dream, that was because last night I watched the season finale of Hannibal and then before going to bed finished reading The A.B.C. Murders by Agatha Christie and there were unexpected parallels going on.

Spoilers for Hannibal, entire season and A.B.C Murders )

Otherwise, I'm finding it weird to not be heading off to work and so am spending a lot of my time writing and preparing to head to the ALA conference in Chicago from June 27th to July 1st. I'm excited and scared as I know there's more I need to be doing to really be at my best for looking for a job. I have blog posts that I should get writing but mainly that words I keep getting at the moment are fandom ones. I did get some minicards made up for myself, which I love. They have all my pertinent information on them and as my Wordpress blog is pretty much my digital portfolio, they should work.

On Wednesday, I went to the Detroit Zoo and had an amazing time, it was wonderful to just wander around and enjoy the crowds of kids and the beautiful weather. The only annoying part was that when I was trying to get a picture of the prairie dogs, I missed where the concrete changed and skinned my elbow and acquired a nice bruise on my knee. I'm still a little sore since I didn't fall all the way down, I took a major bump. I think I might end up doing another post with just those pictures or at least some of my favorites for those who don't follow me elsewhere to see them.

In terms of fandom writing, I wrote a femslash piece for the Marvel Femslash Prompt Fest, its a little out of my normal round but the prompt clicked for me. Harder than Steel, which is Raven/Emma and explicit.

Today has also been a busy day as the DE was a prompt one and I wrote a number of fics, some of I might expand out and I'm still open for more prompts there.

It was also FicFriday over on Twitter and I'm still taking prompts there as well.
Twitter Fics )
ceitfianna: (Hatter is bemused)
I just got home after getting my hair cut and I'm feeling rather like I did when I got it caught in Ann Arbor a few years ago. It feels a little too short and not exactly the shape I was expecting though this time its not as short. The guy who cut it was really nice and talked non-stop, which I think might have been the problem as I didn't get a sense of all that he was doing. The language of hair is confusing since I like layers and a bit of a bob cut, but somehow hair dressers keep taking my gesturing at my chin as what the longest layer should be not more what I want the shorter. I think I should have gone with my original idea of finding a picture of Claudia Donovan's hair and going, like that, her sort of cute bob just not asymetrical, more like what she has this season. I like having my face framed, its odd not to. But I'm overthinking it, there's a picture under the cut and it will grow out.

Short hair )


Feb. 20th, 2013 11:38 pm
ceitfianna: (Inception-look sideways)
I have really needed a vacation though my worries keep creeping in. Last night I dreamed that I was sort of like Lou from The Young Riders but also mixed up in a performance for something. There was lots of rushing about and trying to get things done, but I have been sleeping a lot.

Today I got out of the house to spend some time at a cafe and do some shopping, I love my friend but cabin fever can creep up on me quickly. In some nice news, through my work email, there are these really nice emails from other people there that remind me that I am valued and seen. Its just not by those in charge, but I am.

Now I don't usually post snippets but my writing at this point seems to be in bursts. Things get started and go so far then stop and start on me. Its just how I am now with life, I don't feel like I've figured out how to live this life I currently have.

This is a complete part of something that I hope will be bigger, but I want to share it with those who inspired it. Now over in [community profile] panfandomsandbox, [personal profile] adiva_calandia plays this rule 63 Nolanverse Batman, Bryce Wayne who is amazing. She and Charles have this complicated, prickly and frankly weird relationship that I love and need to have at least one fic where they sleep with each other. So I decided to start a fic with that in mind, but it took a sharp right turn as soon as I started.

I will write them together just once, they are not meant for romance but I can see them both hurting and needing. This is a long way of saying that I wrote something with the two of them and a guest appearance by [personal profile] walksbyherself's Kite that I really want to share. I think this will end up having more, it feels like a story of snapshots while other fic will come along.

The current title is from The Wallflowers new album and feels far too apt for them.
Love is a country best crossed when you're young. )
ceitfianna: (paper butterfly)
I have this week off and its being just what I need so far. Saturday I slept in and then drove to another part of Michigan with the bonus of going through a small blizzard. That was terrifying but I made it safely to visit A and her family and all their cats. I've had time to read Breadcrumbs all the way through which I enjoyed. The Snow Queen is one of my favorite of Andersen's fairy tales because of how complicated it is and how the book captured it and set it in a real world that felt real and tough. Today I started Ship Breaker, a fascinating dystopian novel set on the Gulf Coast that won a number of awards when it came out and recently a sequel came out. I plan on spending lots of this week reading books through and writing Goodreads' reviews as well as poking at my many WiPs. I might post some tastes of them later.

Last night, we all went out to see Hansel and Gretel, which was just what I needed. Its a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously yet has a world that makes sense, families that feel right in their dysfunctions and characters that worked. I think my favorite part of it was the dorky fanboy character, who I could RP so easily. I have a type.

I've also been having dreams where I'm late for work or not dressed or lost, which are annoying but I'm used to them. They're part of what I deal with and rest is helping me a lot. I'm now at the point of being angry and starting to figure out a number of plans, I will get past this and be stronger.

I haven't posted any horoscopes in a while as Uncle Rob hasn't feel on the mark for me for a bit, but I'm going to take hope for this week's one. As I do feel like I'm standing on an edge of my life, its not one I expected but its here.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the coming weeks, I'm expecting your life to
verge on being epic and majestic. There's a better than even chance that
you will do something heroic. You might finally activate a sleeping
potential or tune in to your future power spot or learn what you've never
been able to grasp before. And if you capitalize gracefully on the
kaleidoscopic kismet that's flowing your way, I bet you will make a
discovery that will fuel you for the rest of your long life. In mythical
terms, you will create a new Grail or tame a troublesome dragon -- or
ceitfianna: (dreams)
Last night before a quite nice dinner party, I had some good conversations and one mess that's been being awful for many people is on the way to being cleared out. The dinner party was nice though sadly near the end of it, my cough decided to hit and hit hard. In the end, I headed to bed rather early but still woke up at about 4 am coughing, this is becoming a not fun cycle for me. I know I have asthma and whatever cold or flu I had earlier in the summer has just got it bad again. Some of it is probably asthma combining with allergies and I need to go get it checked out. I think I'm reaching a point where I can actually do that now that my stuff is where it needs to be.

One thing that made this morning not quite as fun was that in the midst of coughing, I had a copule of dreams about getting lost. Now when I remember dreams, I try to make them into one narrative though I know they're not. As I write it out and if you've read my other dream posts, I do try and separate them but dreams are strange and fascinating.

Now the first part of the dream was at a party in a rather fancy house, for some reason, I made the connection to the show Dallas. The house was large and rambling and I knew one of the young men in the family and there was lots of going about and trying to do things. At one point in the dream, I had to go through the kitchen which you could only enter and exit by climbing on ladders set into interior windows. As I tried to go through them, I kept apologizing to the people working in the kitchen who were trying to direct me how to do it but it scared me. I don't like heights and ladders and stepladders make me nervous. The dream changed before I actually got through the kitchen.

Next part of the dream I was in I think New Zealand, but I don't know the city. I think the young man from earlier was with me and I was getting ready to leave. I had a huge backpack, not a hiking one just a large school one and a bulging folder of papers that had all my travel stuff. We had been doing something and then I looked at my watch and realized that my flight was leaving very soon. My watch said 1:05, that was clear but I couldn't find the right paper with my flight information. The guy was being so nice and kept reminding me that I'd caught flights with not much leeway before, I did on my way back from Rhode Island. In the dream, that wasn't helping that much because I was in the panic of I know where I need to be, how can I get there. Then I started towards a light rail or something that would get me there, a Brazilian team was also nearby and trying to catch their plane as well. I woke up before getting to the airport but it left me feeling nervous and a little out of sorts.

When I was little, I had a real problem with sleeping in and being late. I got called into the office for it, that's why it tends to turn up in anxiety dreams of mine, because I have to work on it. I still do, if I have to be up really early, I set my alarm earlier than I need to get up to allow lots of time. Then I still wake up even earlier for fear of missing my alarm. Though I'm fairly sure I know what anxieties these dreams are tapping into, I was told this week that I'd find out about the most recent job.

Full Days

Aug. 11th, 2012 11:24 pm
ceitfianna: (pirate ducky)
Life is being all sorts of full and surprising at me. On Thursday, I went to meet with my mentor at the public library but my car was terribly dead. My mother gave me a ride but it gave the day a bit of bump. The meeting ended up being hopeful and wonderful, but after a nice lunch at a wonderful new Italian place, my bank in Michigan called to check that me using my card in Delaware wasn't fraud. I also learned that they hadn't properly changed my address yet so that had to be done.

Then I got to baking for the Democratic event that evening which was lovely but a lot, one woman was shooting ideas of what I could do at me, it was lot. I'm all for confidence and thinking I can accomplish a lot, but I wasn't sure what she heard. It does make me hopeful for the Democratic party as this candidate is grassroots all the way.

Friday, I woke up, got pulled into a Captain Awkward series of amazing posts and the Olympics before going must call AAA. I did and it turns out that a little interior light that I thought was automatic wasn't, my battery was charged without a problem. As the AAA guy was leaving, I had a call from the school in Michigan who wanted to talk to me again. Today I had a long phone interview and I'm a finalist, which leaves me kind of breathless and then I watched Olympics' diving with my parents on my laptop. Oh Tom Daley, you're amazing, I know an American won, but they all did fantastic dives. Last night I also dreamed of being lost around Christchurch on my way to a job interview and going, I know Wellington not Christchurch, quite apt. I hate being lost and this was a dream where I couldn't turn where I needed to and so was feeling like I know where I need to get but can't get there.

Another wonderful thing is that I've introduced my parents to Jim Henson's Storyteller, which they love, they even though they were adults in the 60s and 70s an 80s, never knew of his darker stuff. I get to introduce my parents to Labyrinth and Henson, Henson was the kind of creative soul that makes me hope and believe that the world can change by stories and people. In other odd but happy news. I got back my security deposit from Ann Arbor, they took off some for holes and carpet but not enough to make me go that's unfair and money is good.

Oh and the weather has been exciting here, lots of clouds and storms that hit hard and then leave, yet the sky stays grey. It's made everything cooler and is a nice reminder that Delaware is by the ocean.

Now yesterday, I wrote a few FridayFics, not terribly many as honestly I was busy and so were many other people. Life just keeps on happening. This is what I wrote and my [Bad username or unknown identity: ineedmyfics"]'s story is finally more in progress. It's been moving slower than I like but it'll happen.

Words spill out )
ceitfianna: (sad face Tumnus)
Last night, I had one of the worst nights sleeps I've had since I was sick. I woke up coughing around 4 am and wasn't able to get back to sleep for another hour. Then I had this incredibly complicated and awful series of dreams. Parts were cool, I was at Starfleet Academy and young Picard was there, but there was some kind of attack. Then I was in a mall and in this store full of lots of gifts that were small and in pieces. One was this ceramic box full of beautiful tiny angry bird figurines. Now normally this shop would be a place I'd like but somehow one of my exes was there, the awful Republican one from high school and we were somehow engaged. I didn't want to be engaged and I felt sure that he'd tricked me or something but couldn't see how to get out of it. There was someone I trusted around, my mother was there later but I think someone else was in the shop part of the dream. We had to buy something from this store due to our engagement and then suddenly I was going on a bus for the invasion part of the dream and finally was able to say no to the ex. He was passive-aggressive and awful at me and then I woke up. The plan was to leave this morning for some bureaucratic stuff before someone came by to clean the house, she's nice and very talkative.

Well, I overslept, grumbled but am now registered as a Democrat to vote in Sussex County, and we ended up being able to watch the Olympics at the place we had lunch. After that I stopped off in Lewes to sit in a cafe and read. My list of stuff to do seems to be growing in weird ways and I kind of want to go back to sleep.

Yesterday was awesome as my parents had paid to see this shipwreck and before it there was a fascinating lecture about all the basic living stuff they found on it. Its called the DeBraak, this is a blog about it, at the moment it doesn't have a museum yet so its in various places. The tour reminded me of just how much I adore maritime history and that I'm always so much happier when I'm living near the water.

My main things to do at this point are more tying off loose ends to do with bills, address changes and the like as well as figuring out my schedule for the Lewes Library. I still need to unpack more but today is a day when I feel tired. Also I have letters and cards I want to send out and bah, my list is too long.

Oh and I have figured out how to watch the Olympics though TunnelBear does really make you pay for all the streaming so I'm being thoughtful in what I watch.

Editing to add my horoscope from Uncle Rob.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The coming week will be prime time to
celebrate your eccentricities and cultivate your idiosyncrasies. Do you like
ketchup on your bananas? Is heavy metal the music you can best relax
to? Do you have a tendency to break out in raucous laughter when people
brag about themselves? I really think you should make note of all the
qualities that make you odd or unique, and express those qualities with
extra intensity. That may grate on some people, true, but it should have a
potent healing effect on you.

I like this horoscope a lot as I'm currently feeling rather unmoored and not certain of where I fit. I'm quite betwixt and between, but I know how to be myself.
ceitfianna: (Tiwa playful)
I realized last night why the tiredness I'm going through feels familiar, I honestly feel jet lagged. Its weird but makes sense after all the packing and then all the driving, my body isn't sure what its supposed to be doing. This also means I haven't been doing all the loose end errands I need to just yet, but I will. The other fun thing is my father has changed to Gmail and I'm now the closest computer person at some points. Its wonderful to see him figuring stuff out.

Also I can't watch the Olympics and it sucks. My parents recently gave up their cable and apparently in this area, without cable you can't even get normal TV stations. That means all my Olympic news comes from Twitter, Tumblr and whatever I can find, its weird, but nice. There are no annoying announcers but I really miss just watching the various sports happen. Just having the Olympics on is one of my favorite things. I might need to get myself to a sports bar or something at some point to see it. Is it possible to watch the BBC stuff in the US? Does anyone know how I could do that?

Oh and last night, I had a strange dream. I was working in a huge big box store that seemed to have a little bit of everything. My job before closing was to go around and do things with books and then I discovered a Renn Faire/LARP session in the far back. Then the dream combined confusing roleplaying with retail work, it was one of the stranger dreams I've had in a while.

Yesterday was Friday, I almost forgot that as its been a weird and long week. So I ended up writing some FicFriday stories. And tomorrow or the next day, the [community profile] narniaexchange stories will finally be posted! I won't be able to share which one's mine until later but people other than my betas can read it.

140CharFic )

5 Topics

Jul. 11th, 2012 12:51 pm
ceitfianna: (Books don't forget to fly)
Today has started off oddly and so as I look for threadbrain, I'm going to do this lovely 5 topics meme. Last night I dreamed that a friend from high school was trying to kill me as in the dark of my room, it was a disturbing dream. Then I woke up to find out I'd missed the call from the movers, called back and left a message saying, please I want more information.

Also the bandage on my ear lobe is about to fall off and I think its all healed but its hard to tell. I need to go to the university health center and get it looked at. I have this bad habit of reaching up and playing with my ear lobe and I'm worrying that maybe I've made it heal badly. I need to stop fretting over it and get it looked at. Basically I'm feeling like there are a few too many thoughts going around in my head.

This meme I think will help sort them out. I'm going to tackle the library/job topics and then come back for the other ones.

Comment to this post saying "FIVE!" and I will pick five things I would like you to talk about. They might make sense or be totally random.

Then post that list, with your commentary, to your journal. Other people can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself, hopefully for the rest of eternity!

(I don't really care if you say "FIVE" or let me know some other way. Just for the record.)

[personal profile] in_the_blue gave me:

1. libraries )
2. travel
3. job hunting )
4. your very favorite fictional character
5. where you see yourself in ten years )

Bad dreams

May. 22nd, 2012 12:50 pm
ceitfianna: (Jane thoughts consume me)
This morning I woke up feeling unsettled after a dream of being back in New Zealand in a hospital but being chased down. Something had transformed a lot of people there, many I considered friends in the dream to take me down for some reason and it was terrifying. I had to hurt people which really bothered me and I woke up feeling sore and a little tired. I think part of this dream comes from the fact that the nervousness of waiting to hear about the jobs keeps bubbling up in me as I would love one of these jobs.

Thankfully or not, it depends on the shift, this week all the shifts I traded out come due and I worked yesterday afternoon and will work Thursday closing on top of my other shifts. At least this keeps me busy and yesterday's DE promptfest is also accomplishing that. One of the things I was doing this weekend was going back through prompts I've filled and posting them on Archive of our Own on the Milliways' collection. In the process I almost doubled the amount of fic I have posted, which makes me smile along with discovering older fic I'd forgotten about.

My prompts that I'm still working on are over here. I adore that the first one I filled could fit perfectly into the Erik and Charles meeting OOM, that makes me feel like my writing is going in the right direction.

My big project for today is to update my phone to a smartphone, my parents and I decided that its best to do it now instead of waiting until I get a job. My current phone isn't dying but its not been working as well as it might so I'm going to get an iPhone. I'm looking forward to it and would love recommendations for apps I need to get.

This week I'm also going to be brave and head back to the bank to see if I can do anything with them. I haven't talked to them in a while with life being so busy but I'm going to do one more try to get my money back.

I think today will improve, its just that dream left me ill at ease. I have books I want to write about as well, I'll try and manage that later.
ceitfianna: (sad face Tumnus)
This week has gotten off to a rocky start for me. I have all these work things I want to be writing but my body hasn't been nice. I've been sore and tired and just wanting to curl up as rather depressing stories took over my brain.

Also I've been feeling unhappy about weight and stuff like that but I'm trying not to focus on it too much as that never works for me. Soon there will be farmer's market and seeing family and it'll get sorted. I'm feeling in limbo, but this current job avenue makes me hopeful that maybe I won't be in it for too long.

My dreams last night were weird as well, which I think added to this a little off feeling that the bank stuff added to. The first dream, I woke up to two guys in my house who were taking me away to an asylum. It was terrifying as I felt trapped and was conscious of itches I couldn't reach until I woke myself up. The second one wasn't scary just odd of going on a family outing but I had to get to work soon and so couldn't enjoy myself.

Today when I went into pick up an extra shift, I learned that something I thought had been cleared up over a bill hadn't and I'd gone into overdraft. Thankfully my bank is nice and its in the process of being sorted out but it sucks. I was looking forward to seeing The Hunger Games later today as I did work early but I guess it'll have to wait, maybe Friday or on the weekend.

Now I'm just trying to get my head back to focusing on job things and all the letters I was excited about writing that have been rather derailed by money stress. Sometimes being an adult is a pain.

The good part is that the weather is being beautiful here again and finally feeling like Spring. Its sunny and a little chilly but not as cold as it has been. As I've been doing extra shifts, I keep walking by beautiful flowers and taking lots of pictures.
ceitfianna: (Charles/Erik-remake the world)
Yesterday ended up being a really good day for me as I started to seriously pursue a job avenue that I've considered but hadn't gone after yet. That's the world of private schools and I signed up with an ALA site, a national site and a big name recruiting firm that will see if I meet their go ahead. Also I applied for a few jobs as I love being on a site where I can just go here's my resume.

RP has been making me so happy and doing weird things to my sleep. Last night I had two dreams that centered around my darling Charles, baby Professor X to steal a wonderful phrase from [personal profile] genarti by way of TL.

The first dream began with him and various other X-men, I couldn't identify any of them, going to a partly completely skyscraper in some city. There was someone up to something there and then the ground started to come apart and there was flooding and holding onto parts of the building. All in all rather exciting and terrifying. Then the next part of the dream was in a park or possibly metro station, it made me think of Washington DC, all terribly organized and big. There were sort of zombies going around but if Charles could put them to sleep then they'd reset and be fine. This whole section felt like playing a weird video game of constantly searching for people with weird extra smiley faces and putting them to sleep and wishing for Cerebro to be able to find them and make them all sleep.

Then I woke up and what's interesting for me about the dreams is that even though they were worrying, I never felt truly scared. They weren't like my various anxiety dreams where I feel like things are going to slip away from me instead I felt sort of in control even when I wasn't.

The weather here continues to think that it's Spring and heading into Summer in March which is weird. Michigan is normally colder for longer and I haven't had time to switch out my wardrobe or sheets and I need to make an appointment to get my haircut. This weekend was a little rough for me but this week seems to be on the rise.

Also if I missed anyone during the Love meme which always seems to happen. I love you all and Milliways is a constant and joyful part of my life.
ceitfianna: (dreams)
Title: Dark of our dreams
Characters: Charles Xavier, Raven, Erik Lensherr, Alex (Havoc) Summers, Hank McCoy, Moira MacTaggert
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Rating: R for nightmare images of trench warfare, fire, disorientation and non-graphic sex.
Disclaimer: No one belongs to me, I'm just borrowing them to write.
Summary: Charles knows how to control his mind and the minds of others but when he sleeps, he can't exert the same control. Instead the strangeness of dreams takes away the certainty he feels inside his own head. This story looks at how he copes with dreams and nightmares.
Thank you to [personal profile] ashen_key for suggestions and advice in helping this story come together.
After a week of feeling in a haze, he decided he would figure this out and would craft a wall to keep himself safe from the dreams that came in the dark. )
ceitfianna: (dreams)
I'm on break, which means that I can sleep all I need to, which is wonderful. The not so wonderful part is that my body has taken this chance to go, wait, I don't have to do stuff and then fallen over. It's annoying as there are things I want to do and I will end up doing them. I'm almost wondering if I keep having a delayed reaction to being done with masters and all the looking for work stuff as they're both pretty draining. Then with the Milliways' transition during the holidays, I didn't have time then either to stop and truly decompress and I accept that I probably won't really get that time. Instead I'll grab any moments of not having to do anything that I can.

My dreams are reflecting this feeling of being tired and worn out. Last night I had two quite different but not terribly fun dreams that were about doing things right and measuring up in ways I didn't understand.

The first one I was someone like Sameth, a powerful wizard who suddenly found out that they could do a whole other type of wizardry. So I went to a gorgeous and huge bookstore where this other wizard, who sort of looked like Sirius was and suddenly I was having to prove myself by fighting. First I had to escape from constantly pouring sand, then awaken the old wood of bookscases while flying somehow, it was all stressful and beautiful. I could feel the pressure of the wood under my hands and see it twist and grow. I don't recall the ending of that one.

The next thing that happened which I'm pretty sure was another dream, I was in a big city. It felt like New York and I was at this lovely party in a fascinating and out of the way bar. There was a cute guy and we were connecting and it was great and then I had to get myself home. I figured out public transit to get to this big and rather scary station where I couldn't tell where the tracks were and it seemed built into a hill. I know this because at one point, I thought I had to go down to get to the proper track and when I looked down, it was so steep I backed up in fear. Then I kept trying to find maps and try and make sense of where I had to go next and after that I woke up.

I know that both these dreams are about finding my place and figuring out where I go next and they just have a touch of anxiety as I am worried that I won't find anything. I think at this point in my life, I have to keep trying to present myself as confident in all my job interactions and keep making connections. Something will change and I will find where I fit.
ceitfianna: (Up end in sight)
Last night I slept wonderfully and I think convinced whatever sickness that was hovering around me to go away. Though I need to wash my winter sheets and put them on as its too cold for the other ones, and that requires getting change. This past week ended up much longer than I expected but I was able to go grocery shopping and now have supplies and on Thursday night, I had a wonderful phone call with all of my family. My sister has discovered Charles de Lint's books and is asking my advice about computer stuff, she's much older than me so I always feel kind of weird when I know more than her. Also one of my older brothers had lots of job advice, which is helpful and when a job place let me know they got my resume, it made me feel so much more hopeful. I know its only one but I think there's something out there for me.

Now last night I had a strange dream that I want to write out, because so many of the images from it have stayed with me. I'm pretty sure it what I remember was a blend of many different dreams but I'm going to write what I recall. It began that I was working in I think Washington DC, a city with lots of light and open space and my parents were visiting me. We had to go back to my apartment to get something and my mom wanted to see the helipad on the top of my building so we went up in the elevator. It was a glass elevator and they always make me nervous and we went up and up so much that suddenly there was nothing around us. Then when we got to the top, it didn't look like the top of a building, but more like a ruin in the middle of a forest. There was a hunter and lots of wild animals leaping towards us, this became a theme in the later part of the dream, things coming towards me and trying to hurt me. I don't recall my mother in the later parts of the dream in the ruin as I was trying to figure out what was going on and at one point dodging spears thrown at me by a large group of warriors. When I woke up, I didn't feel like I'd had a nightmare but a little shaken. I wish my brain wouldn't keep finding new and exciting type of anxiety dreams for me to have.
ceitfianna: (hot cider)
[livejournal.com profile] ashen_key found this charming comment fest and I've already written a story for it; We're having tea, a post-canon Sameth and Ellimere fic. Go take a look and see if you get any ideas and I hope everyone's weekend goes towards the better.

Spread a little warmth and happiness this weekend!

I had a dream last night about being eaten by a giant squid so the day can only improve.
ceitfianna: (Star Trek Not Alone)
I'm home from my amazing trip and last night I had one of those dreams that I really wished was real. I was watching a film about the world of Thor and Loki, it was while they were young and they were helping to fight something. At one point over this delicious thing that was a sort of shortbread rollup cake with raspberry jam, Odin told them a story about Denmark and it was so sweet. During all of this Thor or Chris Hemsworth but not exactly was sitting next to me and being the perfect guy date. We talked and were close to each other and he had this amazing silver almost feather earring that he told me about. Then suddenly we were both in undergraduate college again and he had to go do a paper on some work about Orpheus and Eurydice and we talked about Classics. I woke up when we were walking away and I miss having someone to talk to and cuddle with while watching dorky things.

I've got a bit of a break before my next round of work and everything starts on the sixth and I have things to write and errands to do. Bills and job things are top priority but getting myself a massage is high up there. On the plane flight back, I did something to one of my shoulders and its not horribly painful but it does hurt. This is why I don't like sitting in aisle seats, on window ones, I can lean against the plane and it is ever so slightly more comfortable. I miss the hot tub from our cottage, that did such amazing things for me in terms of relaxation. Also to do is work on my [livejournal.com profile] ineedmyfics story, I have a strong start with it, but it needs poking. I'm considering putting up a prompt post too as since I've finished my masters, my fiction writing has been going quite well.

I have my schedule for the upcoming semester and its pretty nice. Most of my shifts are online ones so even if they end at midnight, I'm home. I have one morning shift, the Friday opening one that feels like mine at this point. Next weekend, I'm helping with an upcoming Bookfest downtown which should be busy but fun. Things are coming together. Now if I can just find a workout/dance thing that I love and can afford for the semester, I'll be set.

The wedding and family wonderfulness will get a separate post with many pictures.


ceitfianna: (Default)

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